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Studying apologetics for the Catholic faith was an incredible experience. Studying apologetics for the Novus Ordo was completely different.
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Like many millennials, I was a cradle Catholic that lost the faith in high school. When I rediscovered Catholicism in college, I was motivated to learn why we believed what we believed. I discovered the world of Apologetics.
Lighthouse Media made those CDs w/ Scott Hahn, Jeff Cavins, & et al comparing what Catholics & Protestants believe to prove how Catholics are right. This was awesome, & it was something that set me of fire for our faith.
While in college, I attended the TLM twice - once by accident & the next on purpose. The 1st time caught me off guard. I went by the small chapel on campus for a Holy Hour & Fr. Benedict, OSB from Norcia was having a private Mass. I didn’t hate it, but I was lost.
The 2nd time, I went on purpose. A local church had the TLM on the 3rd Sunday of the month at 1:45pm - Missa Cantata w/ 1 cantor. It was hot, long, 1 cantor, & the time of the Mass was right in the middle of other leisure activities I usually attend w/ my Catholic friends.
Some of my Catholic friends were in their mid-20s & became big bros/mentors. The 3 transcendentals (Truth, Goodness, & Beauty) were always on their lips. One friend in particular often spoke about the importance of beauty for the Liturgy, using the phrase “Reform of the Reform”.
Needless to say, because of my influences, I was an advocate for the “hermeneutic of continuity” & for the “reform of the reform” mostly b/c I still had no real experience of what came before the present liturgy or of the traditions I was trying to keep.
At 21, I left my profession & entered a new religious community. The oldest member was 32 at the time. In my naïveté, I figured all young priests & aspirants believed in what Pope Benedict XVI was preaching.
This community took seriously mental prayer & the Office in common. However, the music for Mass was often the sappiest of hymns (in Italian at that), & seemed to be against music or aesthetics that were traditional.
Learning about my inclinations towards tradition, the formation director told me in private that, b/c the community was born after the Council, we are to follow the Spirit of the Council.
I told the founder/superior (an 87yr old priest that wasn’t a member) that I decided to leave. However, he was on my side & asked me to stay & fight, that he would be on my side.
A few months later, we were at a priest/seminarian fundraiser for two dioceses. Me & the other seminarian of my community sat w/ some diocesan seminarians. There were 2 open seats & 2 priests sat down w/ us. One asked, “Does anyone here like the TLM?”
My friend pointed right at me. One priest proceeded to argue for the invalidity of the NO for the rest of the night. I sat there defending it w/ what little I knew. I left that night realizing I needed to study “apologetics” for the Novus Ordo, or really learn what liturgy is.
Months after this episode, a member of my community saw that I prayed the 1962 Roman Breviary privately (in addition to the entire LOTH which we did in Common). He decided to make up a lie to tell to our new superior (30 yr old member of the community) to get me expelled.
I proved the lie false to my superior. He accepted my proof & acknowledged that it was a lie. I asked the superior to reprimand this liar lest he make a bigger lie to achieve his aim. The superior refused. To protect my vocation, I left.
This was a lot for me to take in. When I had rediscovered Catholicism, I got the impression that everything about Catholicism was good. When I discovered apologetics, I learned about the Apostolic Fathers & saw how their writings made arguments for our beliefs rock solid.
Why then was I persecuted for loving what Catholics had always done? Why did someone feel justified in lying to expel me from a community for praying something Catholics had prayed before, in a language they had prayed before, and privately? I couldn’t see anything harmful.
I had known of communities that offered exclusively the TLM, but the majority of them aren’t *Religious* who take the Evangelical Counsels of Poverty, Chastity, & Obedience.
I have a vocation to the Religious Life (not strictly contemplative). I found a small community w/ a priest who offers the TLM daily, so, I entered.
I had the time now to study “apologetics for the Novus Ordo” expecting to have the same experience as I did with apologetics for the Catholic faith. I expected to find all sorts of evidence for why it was good & spiritually fruitful.
**I expected to acquire a “rock solid” foundation for explaining why the Novus Ordo is good as I had acquired a “rock solid” foundation for explaining why Catholicism is true.**
My study of the Novus Ordo was guided by a priest who worked at Ecclesia Dei from May 1988-1990. He received a Celebret to say the TLM from Cdl Mayer. He remembers the first SSPX priests & seminarians walking in to the office to form the FSSP.
From his suggested reading & guidance, I learned about the duplicity & lies of Abp Bugnini, the Protestant ministers who were advisors to the Concilium; the lack of Offertory & the insertion of the modern Jewish version of a prayer before meals;
Cdl Bea, the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity & their fight to have pride of place over the Holy Office & doctrine at Vatican II; diaries of Yves Congar, Hans Kung, Karl Rahner, et al.;
the rewriting of ancient prayers; the redefinition of the Feast of Christ the King, the list goes on!
The “last resort” argument for me was always, “The Church can’t give us anything bad”. Guys, the first issue of the new Missal had to be recalled b/c the definition of the Mass was heretical!!!
Therefore, “The Church can’t give us anything bad” argument collapsed b/c *it did*. The only arguments left are of personal experience: “I have benefited a lot from the new Mass”.
Unironically, this argument is the most valid kind to the Modernists according to their Principle of Vital Immanence.
(One of the best books to read about all of this is “The Second Vatican Council: An Unwritten Story” by Roberto de Mattei)
One member of this new community was disturbed by my devotion to the TLM, but the Augustinian charism of cor unum et anima una in Deum meant that he ought to act fraternally.
I prayed the LOTH daily in Common & attended the Novus Ordo almost daily. Often, I would go to Mass twice - once NO & once TLM.
Nonetheless, he used his clout in the diocesan chancery office to postpone me going to seminary to study theology for *two years*. The other 2 members did everything they could for me, but chancery officials were also involved.
My crime? I might attract other traditional vocations to the community, & the bishop does not want a traditional community in his diocese.
There are many good-willed people that want to see the good in everything, not realizing that this is a form of bias when the goal is to see the two Forms as par, regardless of whatever.
Often, I find that these good-willed people are where I used to be - after having studied apologetics for the faith (which increases trust in bishops) but before studying about Modernism, the Concilium & development of the New Mass.
These good-willed people argue from a hope that there is the same treasure to be found in their study of the defense of the Novus Ordo as they found when they studied apologetics to defend the Catholic faith.
I throw in my vocational experience to add to the evidence that this new Mass was born from an ideology & for an ideology. They coexist. A difficulty for those beginning to dive deeper into their Catholic faith might be, “Why would the Church do such a thing?”
The answer is long, & the solution is mostly out of our hands. But between now & the time Our Lord has designated that Modernists be dethroned, we Catholics must still become saints. No excuse!
We need the true faith taught to us & to the children. We need the Sacraments for grace to fight against our concupiscence. There is no excuse not to become a saint!
I don’t understand the parents that would risk their children falling away from a boring Catholicism for the sake of liceity, or of their kids asking why what you teach them is the opposite of what they learn from Father or their Confirmation teacher.
Who walks through a mine field b/c, “Look! Some people have survived!”? This is the reason for the “rebelliousness” of some Trad groups: they want to guarantee that the faith is passed on to those for whom they are responsible. They are just doing their best.
We want men of integrity to become our priests. Yet, we ask them to “hide” & make it through Novus Ordo seminaries. They’ll either get kicked out for being Trad, or live 6-8 yrs as a hypocrite & still lack Traditional formation.
This is my effort to encourage those of the “Reverent Novus Ordo” camp to study, read, & realize that much of the aggressive intolerance of anything traditional or reverent is intentionally hidden to the laity precisely to give them the hope to hope.
End thread/rant.
