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even though i've lived here since i was 4, i was categorized as an international student in college and for the first part of my MFA because i was on a student visa/my family's green card app was in process for years. this move against international students is so racist & cruel
US categories of citizen vs. non-citizen have always been racist & cruel & arbitrary—except for maintaining white wealth. i was not allowed to work most jobs while on a student visa. i was considered a "guest" of the country, a guest still required to pay taxes
my international student status was used by university admin as basically a threat: you must conform, assimilate, do everything "our" way, and be a top student, or you'll lose this opportunity. but it was all dressed up as: aren't you so grateful to be here?
in college i had to have regular meetings with an international students coordinator who was a wonderful person, but had the role of keeping tabs on me, my visa, my legal status. all of which had to be reported to the government. i felt constantly surveilled. i mean, i was.
if i recall correctly, the reports on me (as an international student) had to be filed with SEVIS, a database connected to the Department of Homeland Security as well as ICE
at the time, i just thought it was bureaucratic bookkeeping. i had no idea, as a college student, how much my legal status was monitored. looking back, i remember the international students coordinator herself seeming nervous at times—emphasizing the importance of these reports
in college, conversations with my mother often involved matters concerning our visas and our green card app process. she was frequently worried that all the rules might just change on us. that we'd be deported. that it really didn't matter how long we'd lived here
