dreams of “making it” in this country don’t excite me at all anymore. when I do my community service & look in the eyes of people who will never make it, it makes the depression you have to go to to sustain wealth that much less desirable.

I go to my homeland, see my ancestors & the village people, all with nothing but their own hearts & land, and they smile ear to ear. sing songs of praise. talk about the natural mystic energy in the air. they know the afterlife & the spirit realm, wit no books. no teachers.

it just all hit me like what am I really doing here? hoping other people will notice the extent of my creativity? waiting for some high ranking executive white man to tell me my musicianship is good enough for commercialism? the disconnect bruh. over it 100 grand.