I don’t really know how to be articulate about this yet, since I am very much living it, but I have to talk about the impact lack of consent in the era of #COVID has affected me. Y’all, it is so triggering how little people care about respecting space during this pandemic.

It’s terrifying how many times un-masked people have cornered me. How I’ve seen people I love feel pressured to give in to social obligations, to touch and contact, even at personal risk. It’s so eerily familiar to the herd mentality of excusing sexual violence.

And then the ridiculing of people who do take #COVID seriously. Making us feel like we are paranoid, like our fears are invalid. But again, I can’t help going back to how terrifying it is to be a survivor and feel a new fear of being in proximity to people. This sucks.

And it’s not just strangers. It’s family and close friends, too. Physical touch/closeness is terrifying now. And even older relationships aren’t the same, and proximity to loved ones I haven’t seen during quarantine is scary to me. These numbers of infections could include them.

Further, it’s frustrating to see that many people I love haven’t taken this pandemic seriously. I’ve inevitably had to rethink my relationships, to rethink how many people I know actually value consent if they can’t understand that our past relationship doesn’t guarantee touch.

This is all hard to think about. But I want to say that consent matters. Beyond the bedroom. Respect the people in your life, especially now, and always assume that the default answer to physical touch is no. Don’t belittle trauma, including the trauma of quarantine. Give space.