There are plenty of times I have consented unenthusiastically and it has been consent. There are a number of times I have been coerced and have had to feign enthusiasm under duress. Consent is not enthusiasm. And enthusiasm is not a exactly a great barometer for consent

Positing that "enthusiasm" has any necessary relation to consent is just rehashing old problematic ideas about there being plausible "physical evidence" to consent. Bodily arousal is not consent. That is true of an erection. That is also true of "signs of enthusiasm."

It is completely impossible to discuss consent without first assessing whether or not #consent is vitiated by a power dynamic in a situation. There is no meaningful discussion of consent outside of societal power structures.

The best tool that people have for making sure that what they are engaged in is consensual and not fucked up is to first look and see how a situation is coercive. No amount of enthusiasm can override existing power relations.

The hard part here is that there is not exactly a space that exists outside of society and outside of power differentials. That means consent is always tenuous, always in question, and the best that people can do is to mitigate the possibility of coercion and to act in good faith

Anyone who acts like "understanding consent" is a binary thing is part of a problem. Anyone who says consent is easy is as well. It isn't. It requires constant attention and a broad understanding of social context.

The tepid advocacy of consent in the #kink and #BDSM scene in part works by ignoring broader social dynamics. As Joseph Fischel points out, "kinky sex" occurs far more often as a defense against sexual assault or DV than the battery prosecution of people having kinky sex.

The addition of "enthusiastic" takes on a lot weigh it shouldn't. Affirmative consent is a good legal standard. But there are a lot of things that it can't do. Affirmative consent itself can be coerced. Even when it is given enthusiastically.

If peole in the #kink and #bdsm and #rope / #shibari / #kinbaku scenes are serious about decreasing harm, then they need to focus on creating standards that preserve the autonomy of people who are involved and that mitigate the impact of status differences or org power structures

I guarantee you that if anyone had an issue with the people who run KPNG or RBSG, they would not feel safe posting about it in those groups or perhaps publicly. If anyone has an issue with people handling applications for events, they won't either.

As long as we have small centralized cadres of people determining access to rope education and community, then we are going to have a figures with enough power that they are defended against criticism and can engage in coercive behavior without recourse.

And let's not forget that I was publicly threatened (in a weird attempt at blackmail I guess?) by someone who is an admin of both RBSG and KPNG and an organizer of a major convention in the PNW.

Having "______ until you mess with me or mine" in your bio while you run things is a pretty good way to threaten anyone who might be concerned or want to raise an issue. That is especially when true when you have a history of associating with questionable people.