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Domestic abuse... Story of my cousin (Thread)
X and I were childhood besties spending most of our time together. X was this fair, delicate, princess like, with long beautiful golden hair, while I was her fat tomboy buddy. We'd have sleepovers almost every weekend; busy playing with our doll houses and make up kits etc
She was everyone's favorite; only daughter to her parents, gentle, social, beautiful and "kaarinda". So we kinda grew up and she fell in love with a guy. We were in matric then and making plans on how we'll both go to the same college. Meanwhile the guy sent her a rishta proposal
Knowing the fuckboys that most men are known for, his this stance made her believe that he's loyal and her one true soul mate. Despite family's reservations, she made them say yes. But.. but they were too young to get married, no?
The guy's family promised no marriage until she completes her college but they obviously didnt follow that because every time the couple had a lil fight, he'd blame it on how the world is plotting against their union using black magic (yes, you heard it right). [red flag no. 1]
He'd manipulate her by feeding this BS and she'd believe him. After her engagement, she'd hardly have a sleepover at my place because her fiance had a problem with my brothers. That showed his untrusing and controlling nature. [red flag no. 2]
A year passes by and they get married. She looked like a beautiful angel and he was this ugly asshole in and out. So It's been a week to the wedding and I cant approach her on her phone. Weird, no? I ask my aunt about it and she told me her phone has some issues. [red flag no. 3]
Life goes on and I get busy with my studies, cut off from my cousin, being told she's now married and has bigger responsibilities. Only time I would get to see her now is on weddings (that too rarely) and on eids (I'd visit her parents house same day she'd come).
Whenever I'd invite her she'd make some excuse. Every eid she'd give me a new phone number, apparently the previous one always had some problem and the new one wouldnt last for more than a month. [red flag no. 4]
She'd lost her beauty charm. Her face had become pale and body weak to the point she looked like a skeleton. This was her in late teens/early 20s - peak beauty years for girls. Whenever I'd ask her about it, she'd laugh off saying she's on diet.
When I'd ask her about the rough patches and scars on her skin, she'd say she burned it doing this or that. Her answers never sounded genuine to me [red flag no. 5] but I didnt want to be intruding or make her uncomfortable so I would nod along. She never shared anything.
As time passed by, she was blessed with a baby girl, and then with a son. Each time sent to her mother's house for being taken care of [red flag no. 6]. Then comes her brother's engagement. I'm all glad thinking we'll finally have a sleepover like we did back in childhood.
But ofc her husband didnt allow her to stay at her parent's house [red flag x infinity] because she was pregnant at that time and he was 'being cautious'. She gave birth to another boy few months later. It's been 7 years to the marriage, they have 3 kids, all's good, right?
It's February, I'm in another city when I hear my mom talking to my aunt about how my cousin had returned home. She was rescued by my uncle, found all bruised and bleeding, locked in the house and abused by her husband while he went to a nearby hillstation to 'enjoy rain'.
When I heard the news I wasnt surprised tbh. I was just disgusted in myself as a friend, I felt like i knew it all along yet couldnt give her any comfort. I called her and she spoke, she spoke her heart out. We talked for hours. After 7 years, I felt like I was talking to my frnd
Her stories were heartbreaking. It wasnt the first time she was abused, she faced it on regular basis. The fucker even beat her while she was pregnant. (Remember the night of her brother's engagement when he was 'being cautious'? He beat her then while his mother and sis watched)
He'd fix a recorder in her clothes while she'd visit her parents so he could spy on her and then beat her if she had said something he didnt like. No wonder she never shared anything. Every time she'd want to leave, he'd beg her to stay and apologize and promise to change.
But of course since the man has apologized so the woman should save the marriage right? Besides the pressure of marrying him despite family's reservations made her more vulnerable to accepting the abuse. She bore all that pain and abuse for 7 long years.
But now she'd had enough. I was so proud of her for being so incredibly brave. Leaving an abusive marriage when you have three kids and no formal higher education is not an easy decision, especially in our society. Her father had her back.
He supported her in this decision despite constant family nagging of 'larki ka ghar kharab ho raha hai soch lo' etc. He stood with her and was up for raising her kids too. She filed for divorce. A day before the court hearing, her mother-in-law blasted to her parent's house.
She warned them of dire consequences if they went on with the case. Next day after my cousin gave her statement in the court, her husband was hiding behind some vehicle, waiting for her to come out. When she did, he ran towards them and started shooting at her and the family.
My cousin died at the spot. The bullet went straight to her heart. One bullet and she was dead. My uncle died as well. He died protecting her till his last breathe. The fucker shot 5 bullets on him. He died a hero. The whole incident was captured in cctv cameras.
These were the consequences his mother had warned them about. She knew about it. This was a planned murder. He was arrested on spot. It's been one and half year to the incident and the case is still pending. With evidence as strong as that, why's he still not charged guilty?
Why is he still breathing? He is not only a wife beater but a murderer, of not one but 4 innocent people. That there tells you the state of our judiciary. There is no such thing called 'justice'. Not for common people and women at least.
Y'know what's more sad? Even after her death, some ppl had the audacity to blame her for the choices she made. Her only mistake was falling in love and trusting a man. For which she paid a price. A very heavy price. It's because of such ppl she didn't leave the asshole earlier.
To all the women, please dont ignore the red flags. Don't tolerate his bullshit. If he abuses you and calls it love, kick him in the balls and return that 'love'. Leave when you can, it's never too late. Know your worth, you deserve better. 
