I see a lot of people saying "don't settle for abusive marriages" and "take a stand and walk out".

I know it is important to normalize the concept of leaving abusive households but we have done nothing to make it easier for the women who are suffering.

First of all, it takes A LOT, for a victim to identify and accept that the behavior they are subjected to is abusive. It's not always black and white for women who are financially, emotionally, and even physically dependent on men because that is where society has placed them.

And once a woman realizes the reality, it takes a toll on their mental health. Not everyone is privileged to have a support system, a safe net for them to fall back onto. Most women aren't even supported by their own families because "khandan ki izzat kharab hogi"

Not to mention the expectation from women to "build a home" and "compromise to save it". It is very convenient for our society to blame a woman for a failed marriage than a man for being abusive.

It gets messier if a child is involved in the relationship. Mothers don't want their children to grow up without a father. They don't want their children to be treated different just because their mother took a stand for herself.

Even knowing that "it's better to leave than giving a bad childhood to your kids", it is not so simple because bringing up a child in this country, providing the best for them, is an expensive task. Women in abusive marriages are not financially independent to bear the burden.

Even if a woman fights it all and decides to take a stand, the path she sets on is full of hurdles. You have to get involved in legal proceedings that are not only too complicated and time consuming, but also it favors men.

Go to a police station to register an FIR first. We all are aware of the way majority of the policemen treat women. Even if they are not harassed, they will be "advised" to solve things inside their homes and avoid the mess that our system is.

(If) once a case is registered, or someone is called out for being abusive, the same law that promises to protect women is used against them. They are sued for defamation, false allegations are used to malign their character, men take the custody of the kids.

The fees and expenses start piling up. Women look for jobs and a place to stay (in case of unsupportive families) . No one wants to rent a place to a single woman. No one wants to hire a woman who has little or zero experience because she spent her life being a wife.

Despite putting up a fight, usually women are either forced back to live with the abusers or they get a divorce for which the society blames and shames them.

And in the worst cases, unfortunately, women are tortured and killed before they can do anything.

I am not against encouraging women to leave abusive marriages, but I'm asking everyone, the lawmakers, the police, the organizations, the society, to please make it easier for women to take a stand.

Study domestic abuse cases, abuser-victim dynamics, revise old laws, introduce new laws. Please do anything, something.

We've already buried too many women under this land, don't let there be more.