Just a random thought popping out from my head. People who are close to me must be aware of the fact that December 2019 was a dark month for me. That month, when I sold my Exploration ticket just a week from the date. That month where I cried so much to the point--

I almost got depressed. The thing I have waited for so long, for years, I just, let it go. I am fine now but I admit there is still a lingering pain when I think of it. That is why I always skip Obsession track and all the tracks in the album whenever it came out from my--

playlist, because they reminded me of the painful memory. But there was this one sentence from my mom when I called her, telling her that I would give up my concert and choose her, she said "Thank you for choosing me. I will pray that, you will receive much better"

That time, after I ended the call, I just bawled my eyes out. I thought "what can be better than this..." every eris know exploration is probably exo last concert before almost half of the members go for enlistment. That fact hit me so hard as that concert probably my first and--

my last ever chance to see EXO. It was so hard to be positive that time. I tried to tell myself "its okay, maybe you can see EXO in a different setting, probably a fanmeeting when there are ot9...later..when they are all have done with their enlistment..."

But I think my mom's prayer has been heard. Even though it is not with EXO but still, emm im not sure it is much better or not, but to me, its everything. I mean if I die now, there is no regret, something like that? It has been 7 months i think, since I first became a Fantasy.

But, I dont know what luck that I possess that I got so much from them. Got notice by SF9 members so many times, by my top biases on top of that urghh still remember the excitement when Youngbin replied to me 3 times Dawon 2 times Jaeyoon 2 times

and another 2 members, Inseong and Zuho almost all members have replied to me. And then I even won an official event, got their signature... I mean..I just got into the fandom, a baby Fantasy but got so much...I dont knwo what kind of luck is that but then I remember--

My mom... "I ll pray that you will receive much better..."

And I got it...much better..

:'))