TW: Abuse

My cousin, previously a teacher, extremely beautiful by the set standards of society, sole caretaker of her family got married to a seemingly good guy in Lahore. Nice, respectful, super sweet, everything you'd want to be in the man. Also well off, living in a rented

house in bahria. Perfect rishta, right? The next day of shadi, I uploaded her pictures and mine on my Facebook. This is right after walima. She was casual about photos on Facebook, so I didn't take consent. An hour later, I receive a message of her asking to delete her pictures

I do as she says, respecting her say, feeling bad I didn't take consent, but also wondering what happened? Next day, we come to know her phone is broken and so we can only contact her on her husband's phone. Very harmless, right? A week pass by, two pass by, khala

says she hasn't visited home. Too many guests. They only talk every 2 or 3 days from husband's phone. Six months pass by. She comes home. She talks about how every single day, her husband beat her up. He took her phone away on the first night of wedding

He was so perfect for everyone, that even when she came back with bruises, they thought they can sit both the "kids" down and sort it. She had a child. She came back again. This time, with a broken bone and a broken self esteem, and a baby. A newborn.

My mom urged for khula. Everyone else said she has a child, she should give another chance. Another chance after what? After everyday of abuse, of being told she was only brought in for house chores, for domestic work? That her education didn't matter?

She stayed at my khala's for 2 months, meanwhile everyone tried to fix things. A year back, her saas got diagnosed with cancer. They sent her back again. An educated woman sent back by an educated family. For what? Saas ki khidmat karkay shohar ka dil jeet lo.

I sometimes wonder how long before she caves in? And how all of us will be complicit? Kahan jaye aurat? Kidhar jaye? Kis se insaf mangay? Na ghar me, na court me. Shadi se pehlay nokri churwa kar sari independence lelo. Shohar k hath ki katputli bana do.

There are thousands of Sadafs around us. How many are we willing to save? How many times, even as feminists, have we told our loved ones k unka time ayega? How many times have we let men win?