I'm absolutely envious of people who have other people in their lives constantly supporting them, standing up for them, hyping them up; that can be such a good support system to have and so god damn encouraging. I've had people who've supported me through few times conveniently

And I've obvs been lucky to have them. I even have this good public image (??)lmao so my acquaintances talk well of me. But I rly feel lonely constantly. Two in the afternoon is not the time to be so soft and vulnerable on twt (where I've done IRLs too ) but

I rly want to let this out and in come in terms w it. A lot of my guy best friends turned out to be trash or some developed feelings for me but couldn't get the reciprocation of it from my side and thence, maintained a distance and our entire bonds faded.

I've dated v less people, some were , and the bonds
w others have faded. My current bf also has told me that he would be distant if we break up (which is absolutely alright and maybe necessary) but I just feel that I've spent a lot of time and energy into wrong people.

Most of my days go by feeling lonely idk idk and I feel like I've never rly received the kind of support I've given to people idk it sucks , maybe I'm jus feeling weird. And I don't have an alt so everyone of u gets to read this and judge me yay