with regards to the #studentban and the lives of intl students constantly being subjected to uncertainty & anxiety, im reminded of the time the admin took 7 months to process my grad stipend completely choosing to ignore the fact that I was dependent on it

context: im the only intl student in my dept. there is no union for grad student workers. this worked against me when i kept having to go against the bureaucracy & was subjected to a bunch of snide, racist remarks which I couldn’t fight lest they make my life even more miserable

the whole time - my dept had been nothing but supportive and was constantly standing up for me w the admin. if it wasn’t for them and the people that I met along the way, I’d be in a lot more misery.

some things said to me when I raised my voice 7 months in & not having been paid: “you can’t be dependent on the stipend, you’re an intl student & you should have backup plans” “what if someone else deserves this more than you”

the latter was absolute bs bc it was a STIPEND that was being paid to me in exchange for my services as a worker. it wasn’t a scholarship or financial aid

i mentioned that im an intl student & my backup finances were good to last me for 6 months but that I was primarily dependent on the stipend, they said “there’s nothing we can do about that & you should have planned better”

i mentioned that I had no insurance and needed the stipend so I could apply for insurance, i was told again that it wasn’t their problem & they couldn’t do anything about it.

finally in may after constantly haranguing the bursars office, i was directed to someone who was kind enough to process my stipend diligently. 7 months after i started working I finally received my stipend + insurance.

but until may, my life was pronounced by a great degree of anxiety & fear abt meeting bills, making rent etc. sometimes i would zone out in class bc I’d be paralysed over anxiety abt my future and whether I’d ever be paid. not to mention, I was uninsured this whole time

just as things finally seemed to be picking up, ICE showed me that the lives of intl students & immigrants are marked by a great deal of anxiety & fear at the hands of a racist administration. our lives are a gamble, we have to make peace w the constant disrespect meted out to us