We, the undersigned…

* Saxophone Jones, soprano saxophone
* Pineal Zyklon Codebase, serial entrepreneur
* Labrador Finger, columnist
* Teeth Monk, pillow fort
* T.R. "Badger" Shocker, counsel for NASCAR
* Panda-Leigh Fapping, prom planner

* Choo-Choo Feldstein, under-eye cream model
* Ignatz Pants, 9/11 enthusiast
* Bonnaroo Scant, unaccompanied minor
* Pope Bobby Formica "Robert" Marinaraminelli, jazz and tap
* Cha-Cha Bae Fauxhawk, celebrity chef
* Chidester Tang, urology harpist

* Dr. Rictus Skillet, hunting knife farmer
* Hairbrush Hysterectomy, men's right activist
* Judge Reinport, mens rea activist
* Tandy Diaper, Judge Reinhold originalist
* Stewart Potter, wizard jurist
* Justice Anthony Do-Me-A, drag judge
* Pork Chop Fingerbang, blue comic

* Miss Euphonium Pickles Lee, disgraced belle
* Doggy Bag Martindale, columnist
* Jane Clambake, revisionist housecoat
* Ethereum Yorick, VR pioneer
* Plaid Chad, Twitch doxxer
* Lisa Marie Breastley, on-demand cam artiste
* Spinach Louise Anderton, columnist

* Lichen Subscribe, botanist
* Penis McGee, centrist email marketer
* Shamwow Toffee, substack marketer
* Tyler Jason Tyler, marketing marketer
* H.R. Daniel Tiger, endurance magician
* J.J. Rifle, ally
* Dr. Maria Lopez-Mantaquilla, clothes horse trainer
* Truck Spank, baristo

Unrelated.

Can this be my new job?