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THREAD: I've been wanting to write about NI grammar schools and rape culture for a while, then read this by @gemannelou reflecting on 3 guys from her old school being convicted of sexual crimes. I'll add thoughts below. 1/ https://bit.ly/2VQEr8X
I don't think rugby itself is the issue but the power associated with it in grammar schools. After the rugby rape trial we demanded consent based sex ed in schools but I was thinking it wouldn't do any good if these lads continue to be taught the universe revolves round them. 2/
Gemma hits on something really important in her article - the fact that the adults in leadership are enabling the worship of these lads who are KIDS and yet are treated like role models. Many of them use this to get away with predatory sexual behaviour. 3/
And yes, young people are horny and want to get off with each other. But if he treats pulling like a contest, if the end goal is always to get her to say yes no matter what then he is a predator & being relentlessly pursued by a rugby hero can be intimidating and scary. 4/
I used to deliver workshops in schools for a previous job and the worst examples I saw of sexism were in grammar schools. In one prestigious boys' school in Belfast I had to intervene in a group of 6th yrs who were training as peer supporters for the younger kids 5/
They were in small groups & had finished the task so were chatting about girls they knew. It was so degrading & sexually aggressive & I was close enough that they would have known I could hear. Clearly they thought this was ok. I doubt anyone had ever challenged them before. 6/
In another grammar school in Lisburn I was doing a bullying workshop, part of which required groups to describe what a bullied person might be feeling. A group of lads were making light of the task and at feedback time their spokesperson mocked people who had been bullied. 7/
This was in front of the entire year group and I had to intervene for the sake of anyone in the room that he and his mates might have bullied. I stopped him, told him I would not allow anyone to use their platform to belittle others and he better sit his butt down. 8/
A teacher that was with them looked a bit embarrassed & said he would speak to them but within minutes he was laughing & joking & asking them to come help him move tables because he needed some 'big strong lads'. I deliberated for weeks about whether or not to complain 9/
I was a youth worker& I know sometimes you get the difficult kids on side by letting some things slide to build trust. But if you only do that and don't know when challenge & accountability matters, then that is over-identification and makes you complicit in their behaviour. 10/
I could tell you many stories about the enabling of male entitlement that I've heard from ppl who went to Methody with some of those involved in the rugby rape trial but they are not my stories to tell. I'm sure you can well imagine it though. 11/
We have to do a lot more than just teach consent in schools. Grammar schools need to take a long hard look at themselves and the kind of 'men' they are helping create. It's not just about rugby but that sport is tied with economic power in a way that no other sport is in NI. 12/
So it's no surprise that the same lads who abuse their power at school continue to do so in adult life, even more protected by the status they have in society through money & family connections than they were by their teachers and mates in school. 13/
For everyone who has ever been preyed on by one of these rich, white misogynist pricks who inhabit a world where they can get away with anything, when someone like Gemma bravely calls this out, it helps us all feel a bit stronger. x
Lots of men have identified with this thread I also want to acknowledge the bullying many faced at school for rejecting misogyny or daring to challenge the gatekeepers of this macho rugby culture. I know plenty who did what they could to call out this abuse of power & privilege.
