I'll phrase this as simply as I can:

For our purposes, BL and yaoi are the same thing. BL can be 100% sex or strictly romantic. Outside of Japan, BL was (incorrectly) called yaoi for a very long time. Yaoi is a bad term not bc it's "fetishizing" but bc no one uses it in Japan. https://twitter.com/donanori_/status/1280348581719760897

Japan does not distinguish between "sexual BL" and "non-sexual BL" - it's all BL. The labels "yaoi" and "shounen ai" used to distinguish the R18 works from SFW works are A WESTERN INVENTION AND NOT USED IN JAPAN. "It's not yaoi, it's SHOUNEN AI" is a meaningless statement.

In many countries, people still use "yaoi" to mean "m/m romance", not necessarily "m/m romance WITH SEX". And yes, they shouldn't do this because again, this term is not used in Japan anymore so it looks silly. And it could cause confusion bc some ppl understand it as "m/m w/sex"

The easy fix here is not to misuse Japanese words in order to mean "with sex" and "without sex", but to simply call it BL - either BL with nsfw or sfw BL. Shorter, clearer, no appropriation of Japanese words involved. It's THAT simple, no more terms like ""shounen ai"".

I also want to address ppl in replies (save your sanity, don't read them) saying things essentially meaning "anyone who calls them yaoi is just a fetishizing fujoshi!!!"

"Yaoi" has been the word for BL for so long that many people are misinformed, they don't have bad intentions.

Most of us have called BL or m/m ships "yaoi" at some point - whether in our cringy teenage years or in recent history. Many people don't know any better bc it's still a common term in and outside of English speaking communities. Using it does NOT equal "fetishizing".

There's also the weird sentiment that ppl in the replies seem to have when they say that yaoi is strictly sexual and fetishizing. That very much sounds like "BL is good because it doesn't have sex [it can be nsfw btw] and yaoi is BAD because it does!!!" and that's not a good take

Finally, many ppl don't think it's appropriate to call BF or Yoi "yaoi" or BL, not because there's anything wrong with BL but because it feels like false advertising, since the story doesn't focus on the romance (and they're also never officially referred to as such).

Given is BL. BL is not a dirty word, nor a "bad" genre with a few good exceptions, there's much more where Given came from and anyone who does a bit more research will quickly find other BL series that appeal to them. Hundreds of manga out there after all.

Also wanna add this here because it's all important information and it is Very Good https://twitter.com/inkheights/status/1280462601693134848