i wish y'all would stop calling vanilla sex boring. it pressures girls into trying kinks they aren't comfortable with. not everyone wants to be harmed & degrading during sex & that's ok. vanilla sex, sex without pain or degradation, should be seen as the norm.

i don't like how parts of bdsm are being incorporated into normal/vanilla sex. normal/vanilla sex is sex without pain or degrading. choking/slapping during sex isn't normal.

many kinks are tied to patriarchy & misogyny.
why is it normal to see a woman choked during sex, but odd to see a man choked?

we have to remember that patriarchy sees sex as a tool to assert dominance over women. it's not a surprise that pain has been incorporated into sex. a lot of abusive men can/will inflict violence upon women & hide it behind a "kink.

there's been so many times where i've told boys "i don't want to be choked or slapped" & they label be "boring" & "prudish". sex to me should be painless & fun. i refuse to be pressured into something i don't like.

yes i know some ppl get a high from choking/slapping. yet it's important to take a step back & ask yourself:
"does this feel good?"
"do i trust this person?"
"how will i feel afterwards?"
"am i comfortable with this?"
"am i using sex as a form of self harm?"

what got me thinking was this tweet: https://twitter.com/spacecowbot/status/1216995197927727105?s=21 https://twitter.com/spacecowbot/status/1216995197927727105