How Hamilton Made Me Understand Diet Culture -

[a thread]

Okay, hear me out. I’m going to be brutally honest about some problematic feelings I’ve had. It’s not going to be pretty, but if we don’t acknowledge our own flaws, we can’t work on changing them.

Here’s the thing -

When Hamilton was made available to watch on Disney+ and people (who had never previously seen or even heard it) started talking about it, I felt massively offended. Which is RIDICULOUS, of course.

And as always when my emotions make no sense, I try to figure out wtf is wrong.

I have loved Hamilton for at least four years. I saw it in New York when Lin-Manuel Miranda played Hamilton. I’ve seen it three times in London. My friend plays George Washington. I’ve listened to the album so many times, I know all the lyrics by heart.

Not only that, but I have also had to listen to people shit all over musicals - my big love.

Over the years, I have spent a lot of money, time and effort on Hamilton. The more I “sacrificed”, the more it sort-of HAD to become a tiny part of my identity.

Hamilton’s marketing has always been INCREDIBLE. When it started on Broadway, there’d be almost daily social media stunts where the cast did mini-performances outside the theatre. It was a CULT. And we know what cults do: they make you feel *part of something*.

So I had *invested* in Hamilton. I’d given my money, my time and it had (without me realising it) given me a sense of... identity? Maybe pride? Feeling of belonging?

Cut to: now everyone is talking about it. Criticising it*. Flippantly commenting on it.

(* there is 1000% reason to criticise it and I have wildly appreciated learning so much about the actual real-life people and how shitty they were.)

Seeing people comment on it so freely - seeing people have super easy access to something that I had had to put EFFORT into to like - made me feel annoyed. I felt like I had some sort of ownership over it. Like they didn’t even have to work for it.

You can see where this is going, I’m sure.

When you put money, time and effort into something that so inherently becomes a part of your identity, seeing others shit all over it (or get the same feeling for free), can so easily piss you off. Because you’re an imperfect human. We all are. It’s not right but it’s often real.

The people who spend hours at the gym ever day, who gain followers by being thin and toned on Instagram, who starve and restrict themselves, who has made ‘being fit’ part of their identity — I totally understand why they hate me.

They work so hard. So they can be thin. And their pay-off is being approved and complimented. They feel GOOD.

And here I am, shitting all over their social currency. I don’t exercise, I eat whatever I want and I don’t value what they’ve worked so hard to gain.

I totally understand that it’s super triggering to them.

Because if I don’t value what they’ve worked so hard to gain, that makes it worth less.

If you’ve prided yourself with the fact that you went to Oxford or Cambridge and suddenly people started claiming that ShitHole Uni is actually JUST AS GOOD, you’d be pissed.

And I think that’s the key. Liking Hamilton made me feel ‘better’ than people. Why? Is it because it was exclusive? Hard to get tickets? Expensive? For some time, not even available in London? Because it’s a complicated story that requires SOME intelligence to follow it?

Yes. I think so. Deep, deep down, it’s rooted in some problematic shit. I felt special because not everyone could access it. Wow, that’s a shameful thing to admit. And obviously not something I was ever consciously aware of till now.

I could invest in Hamilton because I’m privileged. You are thin/toned/fit because you are privileged. You went to Cambridge/Oxford because you’re privileged. And if those social hierachies are demolished, you are no longer special or privileged.

Which is why it’s great that Hamilton is now widely available. And that we’re calling out fatphobia. And why we need to eat the rich.

And that is also why it’s going to be real hard because we’re messing with people’s privilege AND sense of self and identity.

Okay, so this was the longest thread in the world. I hope it makes sense.

I am now going to self-reflect and take notes for therapy and read more about the actual real-life people that are portrayed in Hamilton.

Thank you for listening and giving space for nuance and growth.