I am experiencing major secondary traumatic stress, sometimes known as compassion fatigue.

I feel like the spark in me has been put out. I feel hopeless in a deep way, that comes from seeing systems fail up-close for years.

It’s common in helping professions and I know the signs. My therapist specializes in its prevention.

But I did not know it would feel this empty and absolute. I did not know how quickly a week like this would overwhelm every coping mechanism I’ve ever learned.

Right now, I can’t do even 1 more day of reading trauma, taking responsibility to the public for an entire org, defending myself from bad faith accusations, or organizing.

I’ve found out Ally & Zack are working together to defame me & the COC to undo their bans & I can’t even feel angry. Just empty.

So I am taking a break. I will not be around for 10 days. I don’t want to be contacted for labor, emotional or material. I can’t give interviews or statements. I won’t defend myself. I must heal.

I don’t want empty words, but if you’ve experienced STS any resources would be appreciated (via email or FB).

I don’t want to be coddled or given empty words. I don’t want more followers or attention. Thanks for your understanding.