The books that are most important to us, most foundational, can come at any time. Yes, most of our "foundation" books will be books we read at or before the age of twelve, but you could read a book tomorrow that changes the way you see the world, forever.

And--and this can be hard for us to accept (I'm no different)--sometimes the books that mean the most to us, that are accepting and uplifting and illuminating in a way we thought we'd never, ever, EVER encounter, sometimes those exact same books...

...are deeply and profoundly harmful to someone else. Sometimes that incredibly powerful representation for a group that you identify with comes at the expense of a different marginalized group. Sometimes the magic is soaked in an allergen you just don't react to.

Someone saying "oh that book was so hyped up, and I wanted to love it, but the ableism was a dealbreaker for me" is not necessarily calling you ableist (although if you didn't notice it, maybe it's time for some self-examination). They're saying the book contains problematic...

...elements. And you know what? It probably does! Stephen King is my favorite author. His fatphobia shines through in virtually every book he writes. His anti-Roma racism is unthinking and not malicious, but that doesn't change the fact that it's harmful as hell.

John Wyndham is another favorite author, and this is probably partially the time he was writing in, but his women are mostly warm wet holes for men to make use of, when the men are weak enough to want sex (which they don't always; his heroes are Above All That).

Every author who has ever lived has written something problematic, myself included. I've tripped and fallen into problematic tropes that I didn't know were in my path; I've used a LOT of ableist slurs.

The correct response to someone who reads ROSEMARY AND RUE and goes "what the fuck? I thought this author was progressive, but she's ableist as hell!" is not "fuck you, she's awesome" it's "she listened, she worked, and she got better."

My favorite book of all time, the book I return to when I need comfort, is IT, by Stephen King. It has its issues, and my friends and I will sometimes yell about them. My friends. People who know my affection for the text, and won't call me names for loving IT, warts and all.