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I'm going to share something about friendship, and I've been alive for nearly 40 years. Sometimes, it might feel like your friends are moving on without you, like they've sorted their lives out eg marriage, kids etc, and you haven't & it feels like pushing against a closed door.
It took me a long while to figure out but there will always been big life transitions whether that's uni, kids, marriage, kids leaving home, retirement etc. But what makes it harder is going through transitions and expecting everything in your life to remain the same.
Every time I go through a transition I expect SO MUCH of my friends and then get so disappointed because it isn't like it used to be. And how can it - our lives are different, so the expectations aren't realistic and it's asking too much.
On the cusp of 40, I've learned how much easier it is if I seek out friends who reflect my current lifestyle, while retaining my old mates who are the historians of my life. It means I feel like I belong which is ALWAYS how you should feel with your mates.
It's less pressure on your old friends, it means eg if like me you don't have kids or a partner you aren't always hanging around like some clag-nut waiting for people to make time for you. Making new friends is daunting, but it is the only way to have balance and not be resentful
I am quite honestly the happiest I have ever been with my friendship circle. I feel understood with my old mates, I feel seen with my new mates, and I don't have any friends who aren't the 100% definition of what a friend should be. Trust me when I say, it's serenity.
