I& #39;m going to share something about friendship, and I& #39;ve been alive for nearly 40 years. Sometimes, it might feel like your friends are moving on without you, like they& #39;ve sorted their lives out eg marriage, kids etc, and you haven& #39;t & it feels like pushing against a closed door.

It took me a long while to figure out but there will always been big life transitions whether that& #39;s uni, kids, marriage, kids leaving home, retirement etc. But what makes it harder is going through transitions and expecting everything in your life to remain the same.

Every time I go through a transition I expect SO MUCH of my friends and then get so disappointed because it isn& #39;t like it used to be. And how can it - our lives are different, so the expectations aren& #39;t realistic and it& #39;s asking too much.

On the cusp of 40, I& #39;ve learned how much easier it is if I seek out friends who reflect my current lifestyle, while retaining my old mates who are the historians of my life. It means I feel like I belong which is ALWAYS how you should feel with your mates.

It& #39;s less pressure on your old friends, it means eg if like me you don& #39;t have kids or a partner you aren& #39;t always hanging around like some clag-nut waiting for people to make time for you. Making new friends is daunting, but it is the only way to have balance and not be resentful

I am quite honestly the happiest I have ever been with my friendship circle. I feel understood with my old mates, I feel seen with my new mates, and I don& #39;t have any friends who aren& #39;t the 100% definition of what a friend should be. Trust me when I say, it& #39;s serenity.