At whose expense did you experience “personal growth”?

People don’t want to reflect on all the people they harmed in the process of their “personal growth” and that really annoys me. Just b/c people apologize for harming you doesn’t mean that harm goes away.

During college I unlearned so many harmful ideologies specifically around LGBTQ issues. My growth came at the expense of my childhood best friend who is gay. When I reflect back to my childhood I cringe b/c I loved him, I didn't treat him with care.

After college, I sent him a long apology. He didn't have to accept it but I wanted him to know that I was sorry for the things I said and did when we were children. I learned so much from him but I had to get out my own way to understand the impact of homophobia.

It’s not my responsibility to educate my oppressors. I’ll give you the links to literature, videos, and podcasts so you can conduct the learning on your own but there’s no more expecting me to hold your hand through learning how to not harm me.

I’m not waiting around for people to grow anymore. I’m learning to peace out at the first red flag because people will beg you to educate them on how to not be harmful without doing any education on their own.