my personal struggles w/ beauty & desirability was definitely one of the things that led me into feminism.

learning about how beauty & patriarchy are like this and exclude many of us from all spheres of life made me v sad but it also brought me a lot of clarity. and peace?

btw i'm not saying i'm now at a place where the male gaze doesn't affect how i think of myself and how i fit into the world. but i understand where some of my insecurities come from and because of this, i don't care as much?

maybe "i don't care" isn't right but moreso... i'm not gonna prevent it from letting me live my life and tell the truth.

also age? like i'm older now and i have significantly less fucks to give. i guess this is why so much vitriol is directed at women who have the audacity to be over the age of 29 and still... exist? you see it in these "omg i can't believe laura harrier is 30! " tweets.

(an aside/addition to this thread & conversation from earlier today: this is an issue that affects men too. not only because of the power they wield against us, but also in how these systems affect them and triggers their own insecurities)

i would recommend this book right here.

the way he writes about his relationship with the maternal figures in his life, his friendships, whiteness, fatness, gym culture and his body is so honest, vulnerable and really unlike anything i've read before.