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If we ever meet, @realDonaldTrump, I'd like to ask you about movies.
BUT.
One other question:
I might ask you if you were ever exasperated. The comments are amazing. https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1280017323361923072
If we ever meet, @realDonaldTrump, I'd like to ask you about movies.
BUT.
One other question:
I might ask you if you were ever exasperated. The comments are amazing. https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1280017323361923072
You're 74, Mr. President, and I'm 58.
We're both boomers.
You know, the old losers who time passed by?
So how come all the spicy youngsters don't know how anything works, but you and I do?
We're both boomers.
You know, the old losers who time passed by?
So how come all the spicy youngsters don't know how anything works, but you and I do?
Virtually everything I know is an alien concept to...everyone?
And yet nothing is a mystery to me.
I look at the country, and I understand that everything is under control.
I understand what's happening in videos. I see the processes used.
And yet nothing is a mystery to me.
I look at the country, and I understand that everything is under control.
I understand what's happening in videos. I see the processes used.
You know what I feel like, without the tears?
Edward G. Robinson in Soylent Green.
Charleton Heston brings him food he hasn't seen in decades:
Fruit, vegetables, beef.
And bourbon.
Edward G. Robinson in Soylent Green.
Charleton Heston brings him food he hasn't seen in decades:
Fruit, vegetables, beef.
And bourbon.
Robinson is stunned with joy.
Then he bursts into tears.
"What's wrong?" Heston asks him.
"How did we come to this?" Robinson sobs.
Then he bursts into tears.
"What's wrong?" Heston asks him.
"How did we come to this?" Robinson sobs.
Now, I'm actually the most optimistic I've ever been in my life.
BUT.
In your second term, Mr. President, we MUST fix the education system.
This is getting ridiculous. The slightest turbulence makes people think the world is ending.
BUT.
In your second term, Mr. President, we MUST fix the education system.
This is getting ridiculous. The slightest turbulence makes people think the world is ending.
The Fallacy of the Excluded Middle.
Things must be perfect, or else it means that everything is lost.
I remember the 1992 LA Riots. In LA alone, 63 people were killed.
YOU have prevented a nationwide LA.
I can't even imagine the death toll if you hadn't prepared.
Things must be perfect, or else it means that everything is lost.
I remember the 1992 LA Riots. In LA alone, 63 people were killed.
YOU have prevented a nationwide LA.
I can't even imagine the death toll if you hadn't prepared.
The good news, of course, is that nobody has lost their head.
We've weathered a pandemic, an economic shutdown, and riots with almost miraculous realism.
So MY OWN exasperation is actually unwarranted.
I'm wasting your time.
Still, I wonder if you feel exasperated.
We've weathered a pandemic, an economic shutdown, and riots with almost miraculous realism.
So MY OWN exasperation is actually unwarranted.
I'm wasting your time.
Still, I wonder if you feel exasperated.
It's not that I need validation, since I know that it's unreasonable for me to be exasperated, given that Americans' ACTIONS don't match their words.
They're SAYING exasperating things but not ACTING ON them.
It's hard for me to not be fed up.
They're SAYING exasperating things but not ACTING ON them.
It's hard for me to not be fed up.
I would've made a terrible president.
You can have a president shouting profanity at the voters.
We're going to have that any day now with Joe Biden, so he'll prove my point.
I hope it happens in the debate.
And I get to say that because I have my own mental issues.
You can have a president shouting profanity at the voters.
We're going to have that any day now with Joe Biden, so he'll prove my point.
I hope it happens in the debate.
And I get to say that because I have my own mental issues.
Explosions make me jump and lose the ability to think.
Last night was beyond belief.
I had the craziest dream of my life.
When I tried to talk to people, they'd open their mouth and answer with an explosion.
See, I have a recurring dream-motif:
Last night was beyond belief.
I had the craziest dream of my life.
When I tried to talk to people, they'd open their mouth and answer with an explosion.
See, I have a recurring dream-motif:
I'm lost in a huge city or building, and I'm trying to figure out how to get home.
It always turns out that I'm going to have to walk hundreds of miles, and I know I can't do it, but I try anyway.
So last night I was in a giant restaurant.
It always turns out that I'm going to have to walk hundreds of miles, and I know I can't do it, but I try anyway.
So last night I was in a giant restaurant.
It was so big that it stretched into infinity in all directions.
Everyone was dressed in suits and ties or evening gowns. Even the kids.
It was very formal, and there was low cool jazz playing.
I'd stop a waiter.
"Can you tell me where the exit is?" I'd ask.
Everyone was dressed in suits and ties or evening gowns. Even the kids.
It was very formal, and there was low cool jazz playing.
I'd stop a waiter.
"Can you tell me where the exit is?" I'd ask.
"KABOOM! BOOM PAK-PAK-PAK-PAK!" he'd go and walk away.
After this happened a few times, all the people in the restaurant began communicating in explosions.
It sounded like this.
After this happened a few times, all the people in the restaurant began communicating in explosions.
It sounded like this.
So I started running, but I was also laughing because it was so bizarre.
In the kitchen the chefs were all speaking in explosions.
I finally found an exit door and went out into a dark, rainy city.
The only way home was to walk, so I started.
In the kitchen the chefs were all speaking in explosions.
I finally found an exit door and went out into a dark, rainy city.
The only way home was to walk, so I started.
There was a cat in a doorway, so I said to it, "Okay, go boom now."
"Are you insane?" the cat asked.
"Take a wild guess," I said, and then I woke up.
I found a new type of firework in my yard.
This is from some kind of cluster munition.
"Are you insane?" the cat asked.
"Take a wild guess," I said, and then I woke up.
I found a new type of firework in my yard.
This is from some kind of cluster munition.
I can't wait until next year, when they start selling nuclear fireworks.
I'll be in Las Vegas by then, and I'll see on the news that my former city went up in 900,000 mushroom clouds.
Imagine the phone call you'll get from Gavin Newsom.
I'll be in Las Vegas by then, and I'll see on the news that my former city went up in 900,000 mushroom clouds.
Imagine the phone call you'll get from Gavin Newsom.
Tell him you'll pay for the most beautiful sarcophagus the country has ever seen.
The last four leftists in the country can decorate it with graffiti.
But they won't know that you declared it a federal monument to folly, so they'll go to jail for 25 years.
Life will be a bowl of cream and peaches!
END
But they won't know that you declared it a federal monument to folly, so they'll go to jail for 25 years.
Life will be a bowl of cream and peaches!
END
ADDENDUM:
See? I'm in no position to comment on ANYBODY'S mind, since my own has seized up.
"You CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T have a president shouting profanity at the voters." https://twitter.com/COsweda/status/1280035133295214593
See? I'm in no position to comment on ANYBODY'S mind, since my own has seized up.
"You CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T have a president shouting profanity at the voters." https://twitter.com/COsweda/status/1280035133295214593
