God: Welcome my son.

You: .....

God: You know why you’re here don’t you?

You: .....

God: Tell me why you’re here.

You: ...Because I was eating ass at a pool party during a global pandemic?

God: Because you were eating ass at a pool party during a global pandemic.

God: Walk me through that decision.

You: .....

God: No really. Explain your thought process. I’ve been waiting to hear this since I got the news.

You: .....

God: You can’t even justify it right now can you.

You: I really can’t.

God: You really can’t.

God: You know we’ve been laughing at you since you’ve come up here right?

You: .....

God: Answer this for me. If you were me, would you let yourself into heaven right now?

You: .....

God: .....

You: .....

God: .....

You: I’ll see myself out.

God: Yeah you do that.