Read on Twitter
feeling a whole lot of this the past few days. https://twitter.com/blackgirlinmain/status/1279952472015060992
i'm already as sick as many of the people onhere writing threads about how very sick they are "post"-covid (the "post" is in quotes because obviously it's not so much POST as PRESENT). i've been this sick since 1993.
as far as i know, i haven't had covid. (who knows.)
as far as i know, i haven't had covid. (who knows.)
dying isn't what i fear about covid in terms of myself.
i DO NOT want to die. as cheesy as this will sound, and despite, y'know, hating everyone and everything, i adore everyone and everything.
i DO NOT want to die. as cheesy as this will sound, and despite, y'know, hating everyone and everything, i adore everyone and everything.
but if i die of covid, i won't mind -- i won't be here to mind. so it doesn't SCARE me like that.
(certain other people would mind. i can't think about that, it's unbearable. it reminds me of my own grief when my husband died, pivot away from trigger, nothing to see here.)
(certain other people would mind. i can't think about that, it's unbearable. it reminds me of my own grief when my husband died, pivot away from trigger, nothing to see here.)
but what i fear about covid for myself is -- i cannot afford to be MORE sick than i am now. i simply cannot. there is no buffer left.
it's very, very hard for me to watch loved ones "opening up" their lives. i don't have any friends going to bars, but people are traveling, and opening their circles to other families. not outdoor/masked, but their actual CIRCLES.
the more people re-start doing things that they simply MISSED doing, rather than NEEDING to do, the longer i will be trapped in quarantine.
and i could get covid anyway. nothing is certain. i don't live on a self-sustaining farm away from all other people. i live in a city, in an apartment building.
