LGBTQIA+ suicide: A Personal Thread

this is Asher Brown. ten years ago, he took his own life, in my hometown or Cypress, Northwest Houston TX

it was september 2010, and this young boy at my rival middle school made the news. he was bullied mercilessly at school for a few things, notably, his sexuality.

my parents raised me not to care what someone’s race, sexual preference, country of origin, or religion was. i don’t know much about gay people, besides the fact that my best friend in first grade had two mom’s.

all i knew was that gay people couldn’t be as bad as all my neighbors said, because i watched GLEE and there was no way those folks were hurting anyone lolol. asher’s suicide made me feel hurt. he was being driven to such pains and ridicule—and he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

our school district went hard with the anti-bullying campaigns. bullying was a big thing & we tried to make it “cool” not to bully. but one thing absent was talking about how Asher was indeed gay, and bullied for that specifically—homophobia wasn’t addressed.

in high school, Coach Bradford became a huge influence to me & she was lesbian. everything that woman said, i held dear. she helped me understand and learn who i wanted to be & what i could become.

i remember the tears in her eyes when another student named Sam Lofton ended his life—someone Coach knew as well, who sat next to me in class, was always fun to talk to, and was also gay.

lgbt people didn’t have it easy in my hometown. the honest truth is, they were often treated like garbage. nobody said “love the sin, hate the sinner” they said “look at that fa**ot” and stuff like that.

so what’s the point of this thread? here ya go

LGBT people have been treated like garbage for a very long time. conversion camps, schoolyard bullying, emotional and mental scarring. it wasn’t easy for them & still isn’t. an entire generation of gay kids that got the shiz kicked out of them everyday are now adults.

many of them have forgiven and forgotten. many of them want justice for what happened. can you blame them? no. of course not.

everyone knows i’m a religious person. but the reality is, gay people who grew up in religious areas don’t have the warmest feelings toward religion

and that’s just real talk. we didn’t give them a reason. we mocked and bullied them. we hurt them, we made them feel “other.” we sometimes taught they were evil. those memories DO NOT GO AWAY.

so yes, Utah is in a tricky place right now with the Church and with LGBTQIA+ people. that’s how it’s gonna be for a while. there’s no way around that. that’s just the harsh cold truth.

and if you’re a member of the church who bullied or taunted lgbt kids when you were growing up. maybe you have some phone calls/messages to send apologizing. and that’s an okay thing to admit. people grow up. environments change. understanding expands.

here’s the reality. most religions aren’t changing their doctrines on sex. i promise you, 99.99% of islam isn’t gonna budge. that’s just the way it is. and LGBTQIA+ people are also here to stay. that’s just the way it is. cold hard truth.

we’re sharing this world and country. it isn’t us vs them, because some of us ARE them. and some of THEM are US. we gotta love each other & be okay with the nuance and grey area, and misunderstanding. because it doesn’t take 100% perfection to make a society. it just takes love.

i still think about Asher, and Sam a lot. God loves them & i will see them again.

“you are better than nobody, and nobody is better than you.”