Life is jacked up sometimes. But I just gotta keep on going. Can’t stop won’t stop. Little man depends on me. Divorce is real, the anger and resentment I’m receiving and dishing out is real. The lack of communication from one end to the other is real.

I’m just venting. No sympathy needed. I’m ok. I just miss seeing little man daily. He’s currently laying down on my arm watching “The Good Dinosaur”. So life is tight right now. I missed him this weekend. A looooot.

Sometimes things just aren’t what they seem to be. I had a vision, of a family. I wanted it. And then, the curtain dropped and I froze. I turned that frozen moment into anger and depression and a self hatred that I couldn’t escape.

That was MY doing. No one elses. Arguments, fights, screaming matches... I took my role in all of those. I got no hatred towards my sons mother. I really want her to be ok, and succeed in life for herself and little man. I’d hope she wants the same for me.

One more thing that I’ve recently realized. It’s ok for me to cry sometimes. This is all new to me too. I feel pain for my son. He doesn’t understand. But he knows he’s loved. And picking him up every time.. seeing his smile.. awe man. Yep.