Monday Motivation- The Honour Principle

When I started my career, I met a man whom I approached to mentor me after some time of knowing him. He studied Engineering for his first degree just like me and had been a professional for many years. One day, he invited me to his house.

I wasn't married then but I went with my fiancee (now my wife). Before we left for his house, we debated on what to buy as a gift for him. If I recall correctly, I think we bought a bottle of wine. I sat on edge when I was in his house that day.

He offered us lunch (it was a Sunday) and I remember I ate very little even though I was hungry. That verse on putting a knife on your throat if invited to eat at an influential man's house kept popping up in my head.

Pro 23:1-3 The Message
"When you go out to dinner with an influential person, mind your manners: Don’t gobble your food, don’t talk with your mouth full. And don’t stuff yourself; bridle your appetite".

Some years later, I was invited to visit this mentor and his wife in their UK home. I went along with my wife too. We both decided to buy a gift. We took a train and got to their home where my mentor asked us to spend the night. I still recall some of our discussions till date.

A few years ago, another man I hold in very high esteem and who I consider a mentor called me and wanted me to train his staff. I gladly obliged. He requested for my bill and I declined. I told him I couldn't collect a dime from him. He insisted but I refused.

He asked me to send in my invoice twice insisting he wasn't looking for free training but I declined. He had taught me so much that I couldn't reduce our relationship to a financial transaction. I would gladly do it for free and I meant it.

I went ahead and conducted the training without making any financial demand. I was shocked when he paid me very handsome honorarium- not once but twice.

I have another mentor that I met in 2001. The first time he invited me to sleep over in his house, I went along with a gift. In all the years I have known him, I have never asked him for money.

When my wife wanted to start her school, we wrote a list of how to raise the initial capital. His name was on the list of those I wanted to approach. The more I thought about it, the more I knew that would be a wrong move. Thank God I didn't.

Financial transactions can ruin otherwise beautiful relationships. Be careful whom you ask for money. This mentor would many years later allow me to stay in his house in South Africa- unsolicited- where he taught me for free what I could have spent tears and pain before knowing

That single experience is greater than any amount he could have given me.

When you give to your mentors or those ahead of you including spiritual leaders, you're obeying the honour principle. You can never attract what you don't honour.

When you give to them, you're saying, "I value your time and I thank you for this privilege of access". It is not that they need what you're giving them. My mentors certainly didn't. Honouring them by giving shows the state of your heart and positions you to receive.

Finally, please don't abuse access. When you have access to a mentor, don't abuse it. Don't go to their homes uninvited. Don't get too familiar. I once visited the first mentor I wrote about with a friend who obviously knew him before I did.

While I behaved myself properly in my mentor's house, my friend moved around forming familiarity. I still have that access. Not sure the other person still does. Abuse will lock the door against you. Sometimes forever.
The End

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