Over the last 5 weeks, I've been studying the exquisite art of Jerm Warfare in The Battle Of Ideas™, where a hilariously misinformed & hypocritical fake-centrist reactionary lies, trolls & runs away from serious criticism. I'm ready to present my findings to you ,in this thread:

STEP 1: BE A DOOS.
The cornerstone of the fake-centrist reactionary conservative libertarian podcaster, is simply being an inconsiderate, selfish arsehole. Make sure to wear it on your sleeve with pride. Make strangers uncomfortable, attack someone that's grieving... go for it!

STEP `1: BE A DOOS (continued).
A journalist asks an unsuspecting child a question about a civil rights movement that has reverberated around the world, and the child responds (passionately and eloquently)? Just call her mentally ill.
Be as uncharitable as possible at all times.

STEP 2: BE AGGRESSIVELY STUPID (and neglect to engage valid criticism).
Advertise your ignorance by confidently using terms like Liberal, Progressive, Socialist & Marxist as interchangeable synonyms, even anyone who has read a book knows they have completely different meanings.

STEP 2: BE AGGRESSIVELY STUPID (continued)
For the sake of your critics, try to make your stupidity as hilariously entertaining as possible.
Just... out-of-your-depth, clutching-at-straws, drowning-in-the-shallow-end, stupidity.
The personification of the Dunning-Kruger effect.

STEP 3: BE ANTI-SCIENCE.
Do not learn the difference between a "study" and a "statistic", present data in a misleading fashion or void of context (as per your needs), focus on outliers & other practices that would make any academic of any credibility weep into their whiskey glass

STEP 3: BE ANTI-SCIENCE (cont.)
Commit ALL the logical fallacies:
Confirmation bias
Cherry-pick your preferred outliers.
Appeal to authority when necessary.
Accuse your opponents of being both "mindless mainstream sheeple" and/or "woke progressives flouting traditional values"

STEP 3: BE ANTI-SCIENCE (cont.2)
Really try to be as shameless as possible here.
-Ask your audience (as late as MID-JUNE) "Is the Coronavirus still a thing?",
-roll your eyes at comments of people taking virus seriously &being precautious,
-delete tweet when virus spreads rapidly

STEP 4: PARTISAN HACKERY.
Shill for the reactionary Right, ignore all their failings, exaggerate all perceived failings of the Left, generalize.
Your audience wants outrage, so be as disingenuous, partisan & hypocritical as possible.
Must possess a comical lack of self-awareness.

STEP 4: PARTISAN HACKERY (cont.)
As Trump, a head of state, COMPLETELY botches the US response to the pandemic & then desperately claims it's merely a case of too much testing & then tries to slow down testing (!!!), do NOT lose focus - find a way to rather criticize his critics.

STEP 5: BE A FAKE INTELLECTUAL.
Pretend to be on a noble and honest quest for truth in a world gone mad, but ask basic, disingenuous, rhetorical questions to your audience in tweets.
Do NOT Google.
Do NOT engage serious answers from your audience.
DO. NOT. LEARN.
Stay the course.

STEP 5: (cont.)
Invite your idiot friends on your show to swerve WAY out of their lane & hilariously attempt to discuss topics they know nothing about.
Nod as if you're agreeing with an expert.
Dance in the vast chasm between your lack of knowledge and your misplaced confidence.

STEP 6: WHINE ABOUT CANCEL CULTURE!!
Never miss an opportunity to paint the Left as hysterical, oversensitive snowflakes ruining Western society & destroying free speech by "cancelling" conservatives for making a mistake or having a wrong opinion.
Be VERY melodramatic about it.

STEP 6: WHINE ABOUT CANCEL CULTURE (cont.)
Whine about progressives "silencing" & "deplatforming" people they disagree with & paint the Left (and ONLY them) as the ones who are intolerant to diversity of thought.
Maintain this position, despite any & all evidence to the contrary.

STEP 7: BE A HYPOCRITE.
Ensure everyone knows you're simply projecting when you criticize others by practicing the exact same things you accuse them of. The aforementioned complete & utter lack of self-awareness & shame come in handy here.
Go for it.
Your fans don't care.
At all.

STEP 8: HOW TO RESPOND TO VALID CRITICISM.
-ignore
-engage disingenuously (deflections & whataboutisms)
-troll
-"triggered much, snowflake??"
-"with all these haterz, i must be doing something right"
-"jealous?"
-block them (but maintain it is your opponents who are intolerant)

STEP 9: GET THAT PAPER, SON! $$$
If you tell privileged reactionaries exactly what they want to hear (society ain't broke, don't fix it, if you're doing well & others aren't, it's because Darwin thinks you deserve it, Apartheid has no legacy, etc etc), they'll THROW money at you.

Sadly, I have lost The Battle Of Ideas™ and will be deprived of the magnificent tweets of easily my favourite South African Twitter account, the unintentionally funniest man I know, the Dave Rubin of Mzansi.

But I hope the rest of you fare better than I.

Go well, sweet prince.

If there are any other tenets of Jerm Warfare that I might have accidentally left out in this thread, or any exemplary Jerm tweets that exhibit his prowess, please drop your screenshots here. We all need to laugh during these dark times.

God I miss that adorable moron already

I just scrolled Twitter for 20min & this is by far the hardest I have laughed. If Jerm reveals that he has been playing a dumb guy character this whole time, then Sascha Baron Cohen needs to give him every award he has ever won. Pure genius. I am wheezing: https://twitter.com/baldricman/status/1280386613831512064?s=19