After I saw Hamilton 5 years ago-ish, I super duper nerded out and read everything I could find, and here’s my favorite interpretation of some of his letters: it is possible Hamilton was madly in love with John Laurens.

So first of all, Hamilton was not naive to homosexuality — at the time “sodomites” were sent to the West Indies. There’s evidence that he grew up around gay people. (Not that I’m saying this ~made him gay~ just that he might’ve been less uptight about it than other Founders.)

In their early days of the revolution, Hamilton worked and lived closely with Laurens. Their letters began when Laurens left for South Carolina & Ham stayed with Washington. Hamilton missed him SO SO much.

A letter Ham wrote Laurens: “I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you.” By... action... rather... than... words.

Same letter: “You know ... how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from... attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You sh[ould] not have taken advantage of my sensibility to ste[al] into my affections without my consent.”

The sparknotes version of this letter was that Hamilton was determined not to fall in love ever, but after Laurens left Washington’s camp to organize black battalions, Hamilton realized “the value you had taught my heart to set upon you.”

Laurens was married, Hamilton was not. In a few subsequent letters Hamilton asks Laurens to help find him a wife... in South Carolina... where Laurens was settling down, but where Hamilton had no other ties.

“Mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don't forget, that I ******.” Here, nose = dick, and the asterisks are where Hamilton’s sons, after his death, literally cut words out of the letter because they were too sexually explicit for historians to read.

Some historians believe they were cut out because they imply that Laurens was already quite familiar with the size of Hamilton’s body parts. (His sons cut a lot of things out of his letters to Laurens.)

Then Ham basically was like errr please don’t actually go find me a wife, I don’t know why I wrote all that sexy stuff, I’m just messing with you.

“Do I want a wife? No...” “Did I only intend to flirt? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend.”

Enclosed in that letter was a letter Hamilton was forwarding to Laurens from Laurens’ wife... which revealed that Laurens had left her.

Then Laurens’ letters became few and far between. Hamilton lamented that for every letter Laurens wrote him, he wrote four or five letters in return. Some speculate that Laurens was trying really hard to get over his own feelings for Hamilton.

While Laurens was imprisoned in Pennsylvania, Ham met Eliza & wrote Laurens: “though not a genius she has good sense enough to be agreeable, and though not a beauty, she has fine black eyes--is rather handsome and has every other requisite of the exterior to make a lover happy.”

Laurens then writes to Hamilton to say he’s not going to write back as much anymore, since — being imprisoned — he can’t risk writing about military affairs. Hamilton says fuck that, I want to know how YOU are:

“Remember that you write to your friends, and that friends have the same interests, pains, pleasures, sympathies; and that all men love egotism.”

(In the midst of this, Hamilton is writing to Eliza, telling her he might travel to the border of Pennsylvania. Laurens, still technically imprisoned... is only allowed to go as far as the border of Pennsylvania.)

So now, encouraged to write Hamilton about his feelings... Laurens wrote to Hamilton and told him to hurry up and marry Eliza. Hamilton wanted to wait until Laurens could make it to Albany. Laurens thought Hamilton should get it done. Hamilton’s response:

“In spite of Schuylers black eyes, I have still a part for the public and another for you; so your impatience to have me married is misplaced; a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now.”

Oof. That is some Brokeback shit.

“Let me tell you, that I intend to restore the empire of Hymen and that Cupid is to be his prime Minister. I wish you were at liberty to transgress the bounds of Pensylvania.”

“I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation. My Mistress is a good girl, and already loves you because I have told her you are a clever fellow and my friend; but mind, she loves you a l'americaine not a la francoise.”

Interestingggggggg

Hamilton’s final letter likely never reached Laurens. “Quit your sword my friend, put on the toga, come to Congress. We know each other’s sentiments, our views are the same; we have fought side by side to make America free, let us hand in hand struggle to make her happy.”

Anyway. Tomcat indeed! Happy Sunday, enjoy your founding fathers fan fiction.