Many years ago, after watching the movie Aligarh, I began a wild goose chase to find the book of poetry by the movie's protagonist: Professor Ramchandra Siras.⁣

A Thread.

Siras' poetry was an integral part of the movie. Having taught Marathi at Aligarh Muslim University, the soft-spoken professor had published an anthology titled "Payakhali Hirval," often translated as "Grass Beneath My Feet."⁣

Those who have seen the film will know that Siras was outed against his wishes by goons who filmed him in bed with another man. You will also know that the humiliation that followed and the university's refusal to stand behind him led to Siras taking his own life on 8 April 2010.

As someone who grew up with #Section377 shaping my sexuality, Siras cut an odd figure amidst the conversations I was told were important. He died, after all, a year after the Delhi HC read down 377 - giving the LGBTQIA+ community a taste of liberation.

Was revoking laws, then, the most important act of resistance? Was the outrage over the SC's 2013 verdict, and the celebration after its 2018 verdict, truly representative of our struggles? Siras, as a queer cisgender man, complicated traditional answers to these questions.⁣

The search for Siras' book, for Payakhali Hirval, began then as a process of excavation. A desperate attempt to uncover Siras' life through his work rather than merely through a story of pathos and misery.

A search that ended last year, when the delightful Akhil Katyal (who had become a co-conspirator in this mad search) found a link to the book. A search that resulted in me translating poetry for the first time, translating Siras, and being published in #TheWorldThatBelongsToUs.⁣