Racism personal thread 1/
How old was I when I knew what racism was? 8
How did I know? Because I got taught it by my step father while my mother stood by and didn’t object, stop or intervene.
Has it had a profound affect on my life? Yes

2/ My mother remarried an emotionally abusive man after throwing my father, a physically abusive man, out of the house
I remember the day my father left, an image I remember that my brother and sister confirmed was the day, I was 3
SF came along a few days after my 7th Bd

3/ SF hit me once and my mother wasn’t happy but he was craftier than that and was emotional abuser to my brother sister and I and when I realized it later to my mother.
We were never good enough, not allowed things or money for school things. My nana paid for most of that

4/ It was hard but I was a happy kid and while having issues with hearing I got on with most people
Kids at school were great and I enjoyed school
One boy down the road Maori was called Bristow Grey or Gray
We played after school most times etc

5/ I spent a lot of time with him, at his house he occasionally at ours but not too often. But I knew him and his family
One day Mr Grey, says on the weekend I turn 50 so bring your family down for a Hangi and birthday party

6/ I’m happy! Not had a hangi before, the rest of the family was lovely
I go home that night and at the table when dinner is done I speak up to say we were invited to MrGrey’s birthday

7/ My SF stood up and yelled!
“ we are not going to that $&&$(!&@& place! And as of now you can no longer see or do anything with “That boy” not after school or at our house and you can’t go there!
I cried, got told, shut up and do the dishes! My mother didn’t say or do anything

8/ Next day I went to school upset and eventually saw Bristow, told him what happened, that we couldn’t be friends anymore and we were not going to his father’s party
He was upset also!
He goes home after school and tells his dad

9/ Mr Grey turns up at our place obviously after he had finished work, we were I think sitting down for dinner, so my mum wasn’t too happy and certainly not my SF!
SF answers the door, I don’t remember if I heard it, what was said etc but Mr Grey made his point, dinner quiet

10/ We went to Mr Grey’s birthday party and we had Hangi! SF left at an appropriate time,I was allowed to go to the Greys house to play with Bristow.
Racism is taught, it is allowed to continue when people like my mother don’t speak against it

11/ SF never forgave me for that, the emotional abuse over the years has made me realize who I am and what I want to be in life
I left at 17 and returned for one day after SF pleaded I come home for my mother, he interfered and I left never to return

I am not close to my mum

12/ I will fight for the abused, the poor and the downtrodden!
I do not accept the behavior of some towards their fellow man!
I have done volunteer ambulance and experienced joy and sorrow, but the devastation of a man murdering his 3 month baby to spite his ex has been a low

13/ We have to do better, we need men to learn how to understand their emotions and what and how to deal with them. We need people to understand that poverty and inequality etc is not fair and should be fought at all sides!

14/ We are free to chose who we are but we have to deal with our consequences!
We have rights to be human but with rights come responsibility! And that ones rights do not override another’s rights

15/ If you have made it to here then one last thing, volunteer, for something other than yourself
Ambulance, fire, women’s refuge, political party, animal rescue, anything that needs a hand, time and effort
We can make a difference and have to make a difference!

16/ Additional
At 10 I ran outside late at night and shook my hand at the sky (like homers dad) and yelled “I would never be like “that man”“
Little did I know that trying to NOT be like someone else means you don’t live how you should
Plenty of bad decisions and still learning