I feel the need to speak up here, as someone who grew up in part of a toxic family that experienced abuse of all kinds. We do NOT know everything at play here, and I cannot dismiss Bob and Eliza on heresay, as much as I stand by Arryn and I do not want to invalidate her.

I beg you all to understand the complexity of toxicity. To understand that good people who have issues and bad coping mechanisms can become a ticking time bomb in a relationship. How toxicity is situational and learned, and can be unlearned.

I implore you to consider that we do not know everything, and that what Bob went through may have been equally traumatizing. We ONLY know what Arryn has chosen to share. This does not make her wrong, or a liar. It means we have a limited perspective.

People have to show actions to prove that they are changed, yes, and we do need to hold toxic behavior accountable. None of this is an excuse. Just a reminder we do not know their situation and to completely cancel someone with emotions and problems is not necessarily fair.

My abusers made me feel like the bad guy and turned people I trusted against me (without evidence) for reacting and lashing out after trauma. I had to unlearn all the behaviors they taught me because it was bad and wrong and I hurt others because of the toxicity I had endured.

Just please, keep your ears open and don't be sheeple. Believe the people who speak up, but remember every story has multiple perspectives, and maybe both are right. As someone who has had people quickly turn on me, toxic and messy relationships are rarely on one person.

I do not say this to victim shame, or victim blame, that is plain WRONG. Just to make people think and be critical. As someone who has been shamed for sharing my perspective as a victim I just wish people could be kinder and more critical thinking than just to turn on everyone.