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For all the people who immediately respond to victims posting their stories online with “why not just go to the police,” here’s a thread detailing some of my experience reporting to the authorities:
The police were called to my house because someone threatened to hurt me & others in the household (& they have before).
The police came, made the offender leave for 72 hours, escorted him down the street, and told us “this is all we can do. get a TRO before he gets one first.”
The police came, made the offender leave for 72 hours, escorted him down the street, and told us “this is all we can do. get a TRO before he gets one first.”
Terrified of getting a TRO (temporary restraining order) put on me despite not knowing how that would ever fly, two of us went in ASAP to file for one.
It was a form. We didn’t get extra space. Couldn’t write in the margins. A woman sat with us to answer questions.
It was a form. We didn’t get extra space. Couldn’t write in the margins. A woman sat with us to answer questions.
One of the questions: “do they have a gun?”
I wasn’t entirely sure, but I was pretty sure the answer was yes. I check “yes.”
Woman: “Are you SURE? They will send a team to raid the house, so make sure you’re 100% SURE.”
Terrified, I scribbled out the “yes” and checked “no.”
I wasn’t entirely sure, but I was pretty sure the answer was yes. I check “yes.”
Woman: “Are you SURE? They will send a team to raid the house, so make sure you’re 100% SURE.”
Terrified, I scribbled out the “yes” and checked “no.”
I ask if I can submit video. “NO.”
I ask if I can attach photos. “NO.”
I ask if I can attach police reports from my previous reports (more on that later). They said NO, but told me to write the police report numbers down, using up precious space I had to describe the incident.
I ask if I can attach photos. “NO.”
I ask if I can attach police reports from my previous reports (more on that later). They said NO, but told me to write the police report numbers down, using up precious space I had to describe the incident.
I submit the papers after hours of trying to make the info fit and make sure I detailed my answers as accurately as possible in the small space I had. They say, “ok, a judge will make a decision and you can come back and find out the results.”
I didn’t get to speak to anyone to explain any details. I didn’t get to submit photos, videos, or police report receipts supporting my case.
I left, terrified of the results. Terrified that the other person had filed against me. Terrified my answers were somehow “wrong.”
I left, terrified of the results. Terrified that the other person had filed against me. Terrified my answers were somehow “wrong.”
I came back with the other petitioner, and we both received our response at the same time: Our forms were returned to us with little more than officiating seals and a big red “DECLINED” stamp.
No reasons given, no ability to speak to the judge. Just straight up declined.
No reasons given, no ability to speak to the judge. Just straight up declined.
The police who removed the offender for 72 hours were the few who actually did something to make us a bit safer.
The other times I called the police, we got “We’ll look into it” and never heard back, and my personal fav:
“Why don’t you just move out like adults should?”
The other times I called the police, we got “We’ll look into it” and never heard back, and my personal fav:
“Why don’t you just move out like adults should?”
I heard he was arrested later and was in possession of a firearm.
I hold onto these papers as a reminder that the justice system is flawed and has personally failed me.
I don’t blame victims who are terrified to go to the authorities one bit.
I hold onto these papers as a reminder that the justice system is flawed and has personally failed me.
I don’t blame victims who are terrified to go to the authorities one bit.
