I.... Don't live well with people...

But i can't take care of myself well.

Or... I cant live with people who expect it to be living *with* eachother.

I need the proximity but not the... Expectations?

Like... I wanna be able to just *do shit* and not feel bound in any way to the people I'm living with....

But i also want the proximity to kinda nudge me into feeding myself and such...

Living with my gf in Pittsburgh has really helped with some aspects of what I was struggling with at home... But has caused me to struggle with a few other things....

I can't just... Go out at like 4am here... Well.... I could... If I didn't feel bound to ask permission or at least let them know and have some affirmation that they knew.....

I can't just throw random music on all the time.

Gosh I miss having music all the time....

I can't socialize in a way that makes my brain happy here either...

I could probably find a way to... But it's so much more effort here than at home.

I feel like there's expectations of how I should live... And I know I can't hold myself to all of them....

And I feel forced into them when living closely with people...

It makes me wanna drive off into the woods and just.... Walk away and get lost.....

I really wanna just.... Walk somewhere.....

I dont care where....

Just wanna.... Go...