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Been thinking about something that I want to verbalize, now. I will only speak for myself because it is also a bit of a confession. I want to talk a minute about my own performative and declarative anti-racism. A thread:
Context: I am the mother of a biracial daughter and was in a interracial marriage for 20 years. My life is a culturally blended life even now that my marriage is over. I choose a life enriched by friends and loved ones who don’t look like me. I am a better person because of it /2
And yet, I have still acted from a place of privilege, done and said things that were insensitive thinking I was a “better” white person than the norm and yes even played the, “but I’m married to a Black man” card. I am not proud of that. I own that mess. /3
There have been times I have done and things, sought friendship to prove myself to Black people because I wanted relationships and to be accepted. I am not proud of the performative things I have done, but what I want you to see is that even white folks of interracial families /4
do them. There are no exemptions. There are all kinds of reasons why, but we are guilty, too, despite our family make up. Some of these things we are doing now are more performative than we want to believe. Sometimes we want our family members of color to see us fight for them /5
And it isn’t really about the rest of the world at all. We want our biracial babies to know... as if they didn’t already. But, I think there is something else going on TOO. At least it is going on with me. Having grown up in West Texas in a very conservative family /6
I have been the butt of jokes, ostracized, alienated, shamed for checking racist crap that came out of my family members’ mouths. Blamed for ruining family events, called an instigator, blah, blah, no, not asking for sympathy, but this is a necessary point /7
My action is not performative, it is DECLARATIVE. I want all my white friends and family to know that I am never shrinking from anti-racist action. I am never shutting up because they are uncomfortable. I am drawing a line in the sand. /8
What I do, what I say, what I post, what I write is not to get approval from BIPOC, it is to let anyone in my spheres of influence know that the tipping point has come. It isn’t for me to adapt to them (never was), but for them to check themselves before they wreck themselves /9
I chose this life long, long ago, and it has been lonely at times, but that is a small price to pay. Let me end this thread with one thought: White Folks, the line between performative and declarative action lies with your audience. /10
And what you really hope to gain from that audience seeing you act. Tough question to ask, and are you honest enough with yourself to get the answer? /thread
