I’ve been conflicted about whether or not to address the controversy from last week. But I think now that the dust has settled, I’d like to bring up a few points that seem to have been missed in the hype of it all:

1) The first tweet mentioned how these were tips that “imams won’t tell you”. I genuinely want to hear any of the people who didn’t see a problem with the thread tell me why they think imams won’t share these “secrets”. It seemed to have been an unanswered question

2) To those who opposed the thread, it’s unwise to generalize a whole thread as evil when the problem seemed to be with just a few tweets. Even then, ask those who supported those views to further elaborate on what they meant before reacting, sometimes it’s not easy to get a-

point across in just a few tweets.

3) The prophet ﷺ is the best of examples and teachers. If you want to assess whether or not a piece of advice is wise or not, you’d have to ask yourself the question “would the prophet ﷺ do that?” If not, don’t share it.

And on that note, you have to admit, several points in that thread were unprophetic. (Hint: this may be the answer to the first point in this thread )

4) The way certain things were phrased was extremely disrespectful. It degitimizes any potentially valid point that can-

otherwise be taken. Who refers to any complaints from their wives as “screeching”? Men who use these terminologies when speaking about their wives/homemakers/mothers of their children are only showing that they prioritize their own self convenience over addressing their wives’-

concerns. If you can’t show appreciation to your spouse then just don’t get married.

5) With this being said, the brother really disrespected his wife with that thread. Imagine reading something like that written by your father about your own mother. It hurt me on her behalf.

May Allah ﷻ guide and forgive him, and allow him to recognize the value of his wife if he doesn’t already, and raise her ranks. Ameen.

6) Regardless how moral or immoral his points were, a medium this public should *not* have been the place to post something of that nature.

If it’s male centric, give it to a male only audience. Nonetheless, I’m grateful it was public in this instance so women can take note of any red flags (the problematic points & who engaged with them).

7) To my knowledge, many of those who defended the thread were friends or-

relatives of the brother. When people are being vicious & nasty to your friends/family, despite how wrong your friends/family may be, you will defend their honor. Had the greater response been less reactionary, perhaps those brothers wouldn’t have been placed in the uncomfortable

position to defend their friend instead of criticizing him constructively. Instead what we saw was disrespect to scholars who showed polite criticism to the thread because of how polarized everyone became. This responsibility falls on everyone.

8) Don’t be reactionary, never speak in anger, and always respect whoever you’re speaking to.

9) It’s okay to disagree with your friends. Even publicly. If you don’t think so, with all due respect, you may or may not be in a cult instead of a friend group.

10) We’re all brothers and sisters in Islam. We all must wish for the best for each other. Ties did not need to be cut off over this issue. Insults did not need to be thrown. People shouldn’t have been disrespected. We should have each other’s best interest.

Despite the brother *seemingly* not having the best interest of his wife (wallahu a3lam, Im not commenting on the reality, just on how the rest of us perceived it), we should’ve still had his best interest in mind, along with everyone else’s.

I have more to say but I guess I’ll stop here. If you have any disagreements, please message me privately, because my intent was not to revive the controversy. Jazakum Allahu Khairan