How Children Perceive Their Grandparents

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she& #39;d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, ….
1A. "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I& #39;ll probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me happy birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
3A. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
4A. The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I& #39;d gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?& #39;& #39; "You& #39;re both real old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather& #39;s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What& #39;s it about?" he asked. "I don& #39;t know," she replied. "I can& #39;t read."
7. I didn& #39;t know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me, and she was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued.
7A. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try figuring out some of this stuff for yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, ….
8A. "It& #39;s no use, Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I& #39;m not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I& #39;m 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That& #39;s interesting." she said, warily. "How do you make babies?"
10A. "It& #39;s easy," replied the girl. "You just change & #39;y& #39; to & #39;i& #39; and add & #39;es& #39;."
11. "Give me a sentence about a public servant," instructed the teacher during a lesson. One small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don& #39;t you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
11A. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. & #39;It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog& #39;s duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," offered one child.
12A. "No," said another, "he& #39;s just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her Then, when we& #39;re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don& #39;t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
15. My Grandparents are funny. When they bend over, you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

///The end.
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