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Let's talk about a suicide.
I didn't know of Byron ‘Reckful’ Bernstein, but I know about serious mental illness. https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/twitch-streamer-byron-reckful-bernstein-dead
Let's talk about a suicide.
I didn't know of Byron ‘Reckful’ Bernstein, but I know about serious mental illness. https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/twitch-streamer-byron-reckful-bernstein-dead
Here's his last tweet. He ended his life almost immediately afterward.
It confirms that social media is NOT the place to talk about life-and-death personal issues.
Look at the comments, if you can bear to.
https://twitter.com/Byron/status/1278677927597674497
It confirms that social media is NOT the place to talk about life-and-death personal issues.
Look at the comments, if you can bear to.
https://twitter.com/Byron/status/1278677927597674497
Of three brothers in the family, two committed suicide.
Now, I've completely changed my mind about discussing mental illness.
We all recognize the ghouls who make fun of suffering. They don't matter.
Now, I've completely changed my mind about discussing mental illness.
We all recognize the ghouls who make fun of suffering. They don't matter.
The people who matter are the ghouls who ENCOURAGE the mentally ill to openly discuss their mental illness.
Here's my unsolicited advice:
NEVER DO SO UNLESS YOU'RE AS STRONG AS BETHLEHEM STEEL.
Because both types of ghouls want us dead.
Here's my unsolicited advice:
NEVER DO SO UNLESS YOU'RE AS STRONG AS BETHLEHEM STEEL.
Because both types of ghouls want us dead.
Humans are herd animals.
It's hard-wired into us to reject the defective.
AS A MENTALLY ILL PERSON, I'm allowed to call MYSELF defective.
Got that, kids? I'm talking about MYSELF. Nobody else.
It's hard-wired into us to reject the defective.
AS A MENTALLY ILL PERSON, I'm allowed to call MYSELF defective.
Got that, kids? I'm talking about MYSELF. Nobody else.
I was never happy trying to operate in ANY society.
Only solitude brought me peace of mind.
I turn down all invitations to meet people. It just has to be that way. My fight for peace of mind took five decades.
I WILL NOT squander my peace of mind for anyone.
Only solitude brought me peace of mind.
I turn down all invitations to meet people. It just has to be that way. My fight for peace of mind took five decades.
I WILL NOT squander my peace of mind for anyone.
I knew from the beginning that I was defective, but I didn't know the extent of it until I accepted that every single relationship I'd ever had except for TWO were toxic and self-destructive.
Only my friends Steiv and Nick were REAL friends.
(Lookalikes, not the real men.)
Only my friends Steiv and Nick were REAL friends.
(Lookalikes, not the real men.)
THEY sought ME out.
I had no idea that they knew I was alike.
Both died very young, Nick of suicide.
But he was quadriplegic, in chronic pain.
Steiv died of asthma.
I had no idea that they knew I was alike.
Both died very young, Nick of suicide.
But he was quadriplegic, in chronic pain.
Steiv died of asthma.
Two perfect friendship was enough.
I got to experience what the concept means.
So I'm good.
On social media, I've been the subject of several mass harassment campaigns:
Jew haters, Nazis, leftists, establishment Republicans, weapons "experts," atheists, anime pud-pullers.
I got to experience what the concept means.
So I'm good.
On social media, I've been the subject of several mass harassment campaigns:
Jew haters, Nazis, leftists, establishment Republicans, weapons "experts," atheists, anime pud-pullers.
They all went after ONE THING:
My mental illness.
What they didn't understand is that which gave me severe mental illness made their attacks...cute.
Little kids calling me a poopy head.
My mental illness.
What they didn't understand is that which gave me severe mental illness made their attacks...cute.
Little kids calling me a poopy head.
When you survive what I have, NOTHING gets to you.
Accepting that you're mentally ill is the easy part.
The HARD part is figuring out how to flourish.
My motto:
Accepting that you're mentally ill is the easy part.
The HARD part is figuring out how to flourish.
My motto:
I tried to kill myself twice, but it was suicide by long-distance driving.
And the second time I honestly didn't know that it was a suicide attempt.
I thought I was just conducting an experiment.
Of course I was off my rocker, but I wasn't taking meds yet.
And the second time I honestly didn't know that it was a suicide attempt.
I thought I was just conducting an experiment.
Of course I was off my rocker, but I wasn't taking meds yet.
Obviously I didn't really want to die.
Who DRIVES themselves to death?
I had THOUSANDS of opportunity to do it good and hard.
I stood HERE. It's a 2000-foot drop to the rocks below.
Who DRIVES themselves to death?
I had THOUSANDS of opportunity to do it good and hard.
I stood HERE. It's a 2000-foot drop to the rocks below.
You know what I was thinking?
"I've never seen anything so heavenly in my life."
It was pure magic. Surreal.
"I've never seen anything so heavenly in my life."
It was pure magic. Surreal.
Before I bought firearms, my father had firearms.
I never once thought of using my father's shotgun to end everything.
Two different psychiatrists and a hospice chaplain said I was the strongest person they'd ever met.
I had no idea what they meant.
I never once thought of using my father's shotgun to end everything.
Two different psychiatrists and a hospice chaplain said I was the strongest person they'd ever met.
I had no idea what they meant.
Now I understand.
It's because I always believed that there was a CHANCE that everything could get better.
And now, it's no exaggeration to say that @realDonaldTrump made everything worthwhile.
All is well.
It's because I always believed that there was a CHANCE that everything could get better.
And now, it's no exaggeration to say that @realDonaldTrump made everything worthwhile.
All is well.
The reason it's so hard to get where I am is that you have to blowtorch yourself down to pure truth.
ABOUT YOURSELF. Not others.
What others did to you or do to you is incidental.
You need to answer two questions about yourself:
ABOUT YOURSELF. Not others.
What others did to you or do to you is incidental.
You need to answer two questions about yourself:
1. What is the reward I get for not improving?
2. What do I need to change in myself to improve?
2. What do I need to change in myself to improve?
Man, talk about hell on earth!
When you decide you're going to answer those questions truthfully, you are ALONE.
In the the blackness of darkest night, the worst monster of all time is coming:
YOU.
The fight has to be totally honest, without a shred of mercy.
When you decide you're going to answer those questions truthfully, you are ALONE.
In the the blackness of darkest night, the worst monster of all time is coming:
YOU.
The fight has to be totally honest, without a shred of mercy.
It's not about anyone else; it's about YOU.
"Yeah, but HE _____________."
DOESN'T MATTER.
You can't change what was done to you.
All you can change is YOU.
If you fail, it's on YOU.
Talk about the worst terror you can experience.
"Yeah, but HE _____________."
DOESN'T MATTER.
You can't change what was done to you.
All you can change is YOU.
If you fail, it's on YOU.
Talk about the worst terror you can experience.
But if you're willing to take on the monster and get shredded down to the bone, you'll make it.
The final step is that you have to live on YOUR TERMS and YOURS ALONE.
If that means total solitude, so be it.
You can still enjoy life. A LOT.
The final step is that you have to live on YOUR TERMS and YOURS ALONE.
If that means total solitude, so be it.
You can still enjoy life. A LOT.
What I would say to those who decide that they have to hasten their meeting with the Almighty, don't do it until you've at least tried to fight that final existential battle for your survival.
IT SUCKS! IT'S A NIGHTMARE!
But it works.
You come out a different person.
IT SUCKS! IT'S A NIGHTMARE!
But it works.
You come out a different person.
Your pain ends, and you enter a state of pure acceptance.
No bitterness. No resentment.
Peace of mind.
You can get there. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, put the payoff is incalculable.
END
No bitterness. No resentment.
Peace of mind.
You can get there. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, put the payoff is incalculable.
END
