A rant in four parts:

After having two "Doms" give me shit for saying 'No' in the space of a week; I feel the need to clarify:

a) All subs have the right to say No to any experience at any time. The mantra of "Safe, Sane, and Consensual" is a bedrock of BSDM (1/4)

b) It is the charge of all true Doms to ensure the sub never has to break the scene and say no (or use an equivalent safe word) As a Dom, you are burdened with the responsibility of monitoring the sub’s verbial and nonverbal cues to detect when they are approaching their (2/4)

limits and when they are unconsenting to the scene. It is your responsibility to take a sub to their limit, while not exceeding them. To help them expand those limits within the confines of SSC, while never abusing the trust they’ve placed in you (3/4)

If you are a “Dom” who thinks that BSDM means it’s ‘all about you and your happiness,’ and the sub should ‘do whatever to please you.’ You’re not a Dom, you’re just a run-of-mill selfish lover, and you should hang up the leathers.