i wonder if there’s anyway i can help with my mood swings? maybe i’ll just wait it out ? i believe i deserve to be happy so why am i always sad and angry? no ones fighting me, no ones trying to attack me? so why am i like this? i don’t want to be like this i really don’t,,

i don’t like to be mean and a total asswipe to people so don’t think i do it’s so hard to control at times and everything is going wrong in my life so i don’t even know what to do anymore. i feel wrong to just ignore it and be happy as if i don’t have endless problems -

i need to fix. man,, sometimes i wish i wasn’t me. i wish i never had the mindset that i have. i wish my anger never gets in the way of my life. and it hurts to know that maybe if i was just a drop more positive in my life. then maybe, just MAYBE i wouldn’t be on

my ass right now crying over things i can’t even really fix. maybe id be the old and happier starr. maybe i would’ve actually opened my fucking eyes and see how many people actually cared about me and i would’ve been able to appreciate them and yet THIS starr

the starr that’s always negative, the starr that gets angry after every little thing, the starr that cries after every little thing, instead of saying thank you to people who cared about me i fucking ACCIDENTALLY pain everyone just because i’m in a bad mood?

just because i’m a fucking selfish brat, i take everything for granted EVERYTHING and look at me pretending to me all happy and joking around as if i don’t want to fucking punish myself for hurting people i love and care for.

my parents, my sister, my friends, my everything. i always get mad at them but in reality i’m mad at myself. and i don’t even know why i’m so angry all the time i just- always am???

but fuck it man. fuck it all, i’m done i’m actually DONE. i’m fucking done being the selfish bitch i am. and i’m also done crying about the past. i want to be a better person for everyone. i want to change. i am going to change.

i’m sorry for anyone who had to see me being that fucking embarrassing but that’s the last you’re going to see of that type of starr. i promise it. i’m done hurting people and i’m going to do everything i can to change myself

and if people don’t believe that i can finally stop being such a baby. then tbh that’s fair LMAO , but i’m being serious. i want to actually help people and be there as a way to say thank you for being there for all my ups and downs, instead of being a huge dickhead.

and as a way to say i’m sorry they can all just simply look at this thread ,, but anyway i’m done talking this since i’m done crying but just. believe in me please