I’m watching Hamilton and it makes me so emotional, not the storyline, but theatre and musicals and films in general.

I become deeply sad watching the art form that was completely inaccessible as a child—and in many ways still is.

Many of these performers started as children

And at that same age, my mom was begging dance classes to allow me to take classes. They didn’t want the liability.

My mom went every day for a year to one studio to let me in. When they finally did. They treated the class like inspiration porn. I wanted to be challenged and

To grow, but they wanted someone cute. When I quit the class because of it, I felt like had invalidated my mom’s effort.

My dad worked in entertainment with the Wiz and Bob Fosse. Even though I wrote plays and skits as a kid, discouraged me from pursuing entertainment

If I wasn’t playing an instrument. Producers and directors would be more likely to hire me if they didn’t have to reject my disability. No one could say anything about my disability if my skill spoke for itself.

so yeah, I love these things, but I wonder what my life would

Have been like if inaccessibility and a lack of inclusion—coupled with the fact I never saw myself represented growing up—didn’t have so much of an impact on my life’s trajectory.

I’d like to think that I’m trying to change that trajectory for those that come after me

But I can’t help but feel sad for myself when I see the art I so deeply want to be a part of.