conversations need to be had about how abusers on the left frequently use the language of accountability and the guise of practising accountability to pressure victims into forgiveness, while evading the actual work of accountability - both towards themselves and their community.

accountability isn’t supposed to be a pleasant process. and it isn’t a one off: it’s a long process which should centre the victim(s) while offering rehabilitative and transparent forms of accountability towards the abuser. you don’t just “do” accountability, it’s ongoing.

there are times when those harmed by abusers feel pressured to accept what appears, on the surface, to be accountability, when the full weight of the harm caused to them hasn’t been acknowledged. the abuser then uses this to position the victim as being unfair in asking for more.

ultimately accountability and restorative justice is a process meant to improve the lives of all: not to free an abuser from the harm they’ve inflicted, not to pressure a victim into forgiveness before healing and definitely not to continue harm under the guise of accountability.

and ~ it needs to be said ~ it is not the work of survivors & victims to have to facilitate accountability. they are a part of the process, they are not responsible for it happening: but time and time again, we see the weight of the process land squarely on victims & survivors.