How do two sideline, students,
Friends of a moody Dane hot mess,
Dropped in the middle of a forgotten plot
With five acts and fancy dress
By providence advanced to royal-watching spies and major ballers
When all they are is tertiary scholars?

The ten question, tennis playing verbal yes-men
Got a lot lost-er by being a pot-tosser
By being a plot glosser, by hitting the cast roster
By act three
They’ll be exposed as two frauds and martyred.

Well the word got around they said "this shit’s a play man"
Took up with the players just to get them to the main plan
Get your lines from Hamlet
He’s the one who can explain
And the world’s going to ask your names

What's your names man?

Rosencranz and Guildenstern
No no
you’re Rosencranz I’m Guildenstern
And there’s a lot of stuff we’d like to learn
But now we’ll wait
Now we’ll wait…

Oh, Rosencranz and Guildenstern
Elsinore has summoned you
You don’t know why you’re even here
And before long you’ll disappear
The show
Will end
Just like you feared … oh

There’s a million things you haven’t learned
But now you’ll wait

What’s your names man?

Um...

I'm...

wait, no

don't tell me