Basically what happens is this: when someone in a family unit (mostly, usually) decides to disrupt the dominant narrative around someone who is revered/respected/has authority, the counter-narrative is not really challenged but instead people are sent to go talk to the disruptor

...in an attempt to get them to smooth things over, come back to the fold, recant their narrative, etc.

these are minions of the dislodged authority trying to get the disruptor to come back and reset the order as it was.

the point is NEVER about the actual issue raised, it's about "we're a big happy family and now you ruined it"

it's using the power of excommunication (which is, literally, removing someone from their community and support systems) as leverage to get someone to shut up and stop rocking the boat.

when that person has preemptively chosen excommunication (as @daniel_m_lavery and @graceelavery have), that kills a lot of the power of the flying monkeys and they have to resort to just exhausting the disruptor to the point of giving up the fight and walking away.

it's effective and it's brutal emotionally and it makes the disruptor inclined to second guess their reality--if no one else sees this thing, am i crazy? etc

usually flying monkeys exist when the person sending them is a narcissist and everyone is more afraid of pissing them off than of pissing off the disruptor.

bc they KNOW that the disruptor has an internal ethical code and can be guilted into behaving "nicely" and the person in power does not and cannot

see: my ex-husband called me abusive and when his family was like ??? uh okay dude ??? he pulled ultimatums with all of them and they cut me off bc they KNEW i wouldn't hurt them, but he was unpredictable and they weren't interested in setting him off.

but they all came to me to talk about it to see if i would... idk, make things right somehow (it was vague, i had nothing to make amends for, there were no specific requests besides "leave him alone" which i was doing)

but even SAYING THIS NOW, i know i run the risk of him seeing it and sending someone to me to say that i am not leaving him alone purely bc i am naming things i experienced.

that, my friends, is flying monkeys.

i'll just add to clarify my point at the start of this: the cancel culture stan swarms LOOKS like and FEELS like flying monkeys and that's part of why it's triggering and exhausting for people to see/experience often, but it's a different thing, just similar practices scaled up.

the person disrupting the narrative is not ever SENDING these people to the offending person in question. if they are, then it's flying monkeys.