I’m gonna give y’all a run down of my plants and their personalities.

Starting with my prayer plant: Incredibly dramatic. Forget to water for one day and suddenly he acts like he hasn’t been watered in weeks. Goes to bed at 5pm because the sun isn’t shining directly on him.

My nerve plant: This lil baby is FLOURISHING. I love him. My favourite child. I’ve had to repot him twice now because he’s growing so big and strong. Will forever hold a special place in my heart. (Don’t tell the Prayer plant)

Next up is my pink polka dot: she’s a shy little lady, slowly burr surely growing but just needs some words of encouragement. I think prayer plant scares her a little so may put her next to nerve so they can be friends and flourish together. She is very polite.

Then we have my wandering jew: this dude be straight up VIBING. He’s just out here doing his thing, unbothered by everyone else’s antics. I put him in a new plant pot the other day and he seems to love it. He seems to be unproblematic so he gets the nice planters.

Next we have my silverspot: she’s one of the newer plants I have so she hasn’t really come out of her shell yet, but she seems like a little beauty. With a little love and encouragement I think she’s going to be such a bad bitch when she grows up.

Finally we have my newest member to the family: Miss Monstera. Good lord this lady is going to give me grief I can tell already. She’s like me when I was 17. Big and bodacious and does whatever the FUCK she wants. I’m hoping we can come to some sort of mutual respect agreement.

I also have a ton of succulents. They are the infants of my plant family, I’m giving them all my love and care and making sure they grow up to be big and strong. They aren’t as high maintenance as my other plants but they sit on my windowsill and be chillin always.

Finally we come to the cousins of my succulents... my cacti. Utter wankers. All of them. They all hate me and I’m sure they’d hold me at knife point if they could.