And now where do I even go? Because I do not fit the current narrative popularized by and about trans people that we have always known we were trans. I didn& #39;t. I didn& #39;t know that was a thing people could be, and when I did find out in my teens it was in the context of trans women
And by that point I had already developed what I suspect are entirely common problems - self harm, an eating disorder, dysmorphia, depression.
I just knew my body was wrong for me but not why or how. Meanwhile I& #39;ve spent 44 years living as a woman under patriarchy and dealing with misogyny and if I see one more person try to claim that trans men and trans masc ppl with bodies that were forcibly femaled...
...until they could pass for a cis dude have unconditional male privilege I will lose. My. Shit.
And then there& #39;s all the people ostensibly on my side standing by to mock any dude at a right wing protest for being too short, too skinny, etc etc etc - all violent reminders that because I& #39;m not figuring this shit out until I& #39;m fucking 44 I will never be masc enough.
Not even for the supposedly open-minded and affirming left.
Anyway I gotta go buy hay.
And I mean a gauge of how bad my dysphoria is? I& #39;m seriously considering CareCredit& #39;s ruinous interest rates and having surgery during a pandemic to get. This. Shit. Off. My. Chest.
You can follow @NeolithicSheep.
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