When I was an atheist, I had no clear purpose in life.. I felt that there wasn’t much of a difference between myself and an animal.

I knew that whatever I did would be meaningless in the end.

Ever since I was young I’ve had an interest for philosophy and religion.

I tried making up my own sense of right and wrong but only ended up contradicting myself, spent nearly three years as

a vegetarian because life to me meant suffering, and the least I could do was try and reduce the suffering of other animals.

In my experience in dealing with irreligious people, most of them try to ignore the deep

questions about life as much as possible, settle for strawman arguments and are generally very arrogant.

People today constantly keep themselves preoccupied with useless activities in order to avoid these matters, thinking the purpose of life is fun and pleasure.

Personally I think if their minds were left alone for a while, the only possible outcomes are atheism & misery, or a life with a consistent belief system. Our thoughts seem to naturally drift towards thinking about life and death and the purpose of it all.

As my world view and morals were based on suffering being an evil, suicide began to look like a viable option as it would end the necessary harm I contributed to the environment by staying alive. Suffering could only be removed completely if I ceased to exist.

There was obviously a dilemma here as it would cause grief and suffering to my friends and family. Life was going to end some day anyways so what did it really matter.

Eventually I came to believe that suffering wasn’t necessarily bad because belief in good and evil are religious beliefs just like belief in heaven and hell, and that my beliefs were emotional and therefore false.

I didn’t accept Islam because I was afraid of what happens after we pass away and that the thought of eternal paradise was comforting. I had already accepted death as a fact and welcomed the thought of dying.

Neither did I accept Islam because it would bring a purpose to my life.

I did so out of conviction that it is the truth.

The only way my previous beliefs contributed to my conversion, was that I never felt convinced by any arguments against Islam based on the inconsistent world view of an atheist.