The military is infamous for sweeping shit under the rug. When Marisa and I first spoke out publicly about sexual violence in the military, the Marine Corps tried to find dirt on us to discredit our stories and even tried to see if we had bad records/what discharges we got.>>

When we spoke before the international Women’s committee in D.C. to create dialogue about experiences and potential solutions, the Marine Corps commandant General Neller, and Sgt Maj Green did not show up because there were not enough republicans who appeared.

Not only did they keep putting off meeting with Gloria Allred, Marisa, and myself TOGETHER but they cornered Marisa, AS AN ACTIVE DUTY E3 LANCE CORPORAL, alone to meet with them as a publicity stunt to make it seem like they were doing something.

Me being a Veteran at this time, took this as a slap in the face since I was not included. Was I not a Marine too? Was I not a victim among their ranks?

I will never forget how alone I felt during that time. At that moment I was ashamed for putting my faith in an organization that doesn’t give a fuck about me.

I rarely ever talk about my time in service, because instead of being proud of “being a part of something bigger than myself”, I am extremely embarrassed to have been a part of such a sexist, racist branch that will protect its abusers with nothing but a slap on the wrist.

I’ve teetered on the thought #IAmVanessaGuillen and sharing my experience with sexism and sexual harassment in the military like my fellow sisters have, and right now I just can’t. I am so tired, nor do I have the mental health to do so.

I support all of you, you’re all so brave. I’d do it all over again for you guys. All I can say is— I’m sorry that I am so exhausted.

I am angry. There’s a vengeance in me. I want justice.