I am glad more women service members are coming forward with their stories. It’s heartbreaking that a soldier had to be murdered for it to finally break through. I, like nearly all women I served with, have stories. A long thread\\

I never experienced assault but I knew survivors. I was forced to learn quickly to identify the men who preyed on the newest members, to exploit them as part of some “game.”

I had to laugh at the inappropriate comments or jokes that came my way (or about other women) because I didn’t want to become one of “those” girls, they said.

While I was enlisted, I had to figure out how to remove a pilot who had drunkenly, and without invitation, followed me back to my room. My primary concern was that I had to solve this without me being the one to get in trouble.

As I progressed in rank, I had to tolerate insubordination from a handful because they were “adjusting to having females in the squadron.”

I had to consistently reassert myself with my junior, all-male team that I indeed did know how to do my job after having done it for several years.

I had to become deft at discouraging unwarranted advances as to not anger him and catch the ire of his buddies later for being a bitch, and then ostracized.

Much later in my career, when a woman on my team deployed (my career field deployed as individuals not with a wing), I felt compelled to out-brief my tips to help prevent sexually assault, knowing that it was futile but feeling like I had to warn them somehow.

That’s just a few stories. I have more after 22 years. I’m guessing a lot of people may question why women stay. It’s because we want to serve too! And damn it, in 2020, we should be able to do that without being harassed or assaulted. That’s not a lot to ask!

And before anyone jumps in with a “not all men.” Of course! I served with many amazing men, who I loved as father figures and brothers. They are part of the reason I stayed.

I don’t have a thoughtful closing... just fix this. Military leadership: Expect more from your members, listen to women. Don’t minimize it, don’t ignore it - just fix it.

For my part, I encourage veterans to join groups like @commondefense It’s time to work together, and put pressure on the DoD and elected officials to take these issues seriously and fight for real change.