What's something you could say both during sex and as a useful edit to someone else's manuscript?

The uncut version is a bit fussier.

It's a bit dry right now, but I trust that you can tie this together and whip it into shape.

This coy withholding is getting you nowhere.

The introduction of the pool boy is perhaps overly ambitious.

Really nice, tight opening, and just the right amount of tension. Things get juicy right away. Huge improvement over last time; I think this is one for your portfolio!

This isn't quite ready to show people.

If you're ready to submit, I have some people to introduce you to.

The map was really helpful.

The spottiness here worries me.

I feel like you're overly influenced by Phillip Roth here.

Honestly, it's just SO hard pull off something with this many settings and generations.

If your family is going to see this, you might want to change some of the names.